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I know a guy who really fucked a couch. He stopped because his stepdad found out and explained to him that something terrible would happen if he kept doing it.
Anyway, he's the raddest anarchist I know and the only couch fucker I respect.
Edit: I should say, he's the couch fucker I respect the most.
What would happen? Chafing?
Well if he's blowing his loads inside the couch I'd imagine it's gonna start to smell eventually.
You're supposed to use protection
So that’s why my grandmothers couch was covered in clear plastic
Nutted in my couch so much it started smelling sweet
Oh god yeah you have to clean up afterwards.
I may or may not have seen a number of porn vids online of guys screwing a fleshlight or object wedged between couch cushions or mattresses or pillows in my travels.