rubpoll [she/her] @ rubpoll @hexbear.net

Posts

8

Comments

185

Joined

4 yr. ago

I feel like I've forgotten thousands of things that happened only one administration ago. I remember thinking "how will I explain the ridiculousness of this era to our children?" And now it's all flittering away...

I remember Elizabeth Warren taking Trump up on his challenge to take a 23-And-Me test, to prove whether or not she was part Native American as she had been insisting for decades. The test results showed she actually had less of the blood quanta that signifies North American indigenous ancestors than the average population would in general.

She has a published cookbook called "Pow Wow Chow."

I remember Hillary Clinton being so enraged after the election was called that she refused to come out and speak to her $50,000-a-pop victory party attendees, and had Rob Emmanuel come out to say she's very sad and angry and can't talk right now.

I think it's safe to assume she was literally vomiting with rage.

I remember everyone in Hawaii being told they were about to be nuked.

I remember Michelle Obama and George W Bush being close buddies at John McCain's funeral, giving each other candies and hugging each other fondly. "Oh yes," says Michelle, "I'm his partner in crime." Her husband ran his first presidential campaign promising to charge Bush with war crimes.

I remember Ghislaine Maxwell going missing after a warrant was put out for her, and then a photo of her at an In-n-Out was posted on Twitter, where she's holding a book called "The Secret Lives and Deaths of CIA Operatives". The same day, the entire nationwide system that monitors flight risks for air travel was down - the system that would have flagged Ghislaine as having a warrant out for her arrest, the same system that her twin sisters own and contract to the US government...

I spent so long assuming she either fled the country or would turn up in an oil drum somewhere. But it turns out she was just laying low at some friend's fishing retreat in Maine.

I remember Hillary Clinton pulling out a tiny bottle of hot sauce from her purse to prove her street cred.

I remember Hillary Clinton's campaign website having more to say about Pepe the Frog than healthcare.

MEEEEMMMOOOORRRIIIEEESSS

AAAALLLLL AALLLLOOOOONNNNEEE IN THE MOOOOOOONLIIIIIIIGGGGHHTTT

I remember Rachael Maddow insisting in no uncertain terms that Trump was America's Hitler, and then she wished him a speedy recovery when he caught Covid.

I remember Sean Spicer literally hiding behind some shrubs to avoid taking questions from the press, even though they were only asking questions like "Isn't the President using the Lincoln Ballroom for a Daughters of the Confederacy reunion a bit uncouth???"

I remember Scaramucci missing the birth of his first-born child so he could take an unpaid internship at the White House, which he'd be fired from a week later.

I remember thousands and thousands of libs unironically believing that Alec Baldwin playing Trump on SNL would get him to resign, hand himself into prison, and apologize to Hillary on the way.

I remember Samantha Bee pretending to be super horny for Robert Mueller and singing a horrible burlesque number about him locking up Trump while kind of swinging around a stripper pole.

I remember Stephen Colbert on election night 2016, after it was called, and he's basically consoling his audience that the nightmare times are upon us but everything is going to fine because America always prevails, and then he gets his mortified band leader to play My Country Tis Of Thee as they fade to commercial.

Libs just assume whatever problem America has, China must have it ten times worse. If the USA executes people who are literally mentally incapacitated, China must execute ten times as many. A hundred even. No don't show me evidence otherwise, you really believe the numbers coming out of China? etc etc

So what's funnier... he gets exonerated and becomes President again? Or he gets convicted and becomes President again? I imagine the latter would fry the brains of liberals significantly harder.

They expect us to be angrier about NK doing this than Israel murdering tens of thousands of people.

Love getting called a tankie for opposing the use of tanks in Gaza.

The only historical event Americans know about is WW2, and even that they don't really know anything about.