NationProtons @ NationProtons @sh.itjust.works

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15

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159

Joined

1 yr. ago

Wow, that would be annoying. Currently I’m basically living in a studio, so would be difficult to avoid a specific spot in the home.

I have considered changing professions in the past, but i don’t think I could do a switch at this moment.

I don’t think i could easily find a job in a different field and I’m a bit worried that I would get lost and lose energy, even in seemingly simple jobs.

Not in one field specifically. But I have the most experience in software engineering, functional analysis, and tutoring (university-level)

I actually experimented with this in the past.

It does help quite a bit. ( but for some projects i would spend too much time catching up what i missed the other days)

The trouble is mostly finding part time work. When I tried it in the past, it was because I was already working full time and asked to have it reduced.

But now i don’t have a job, and finding pastime options from the start seems to be more difficult than finding a full time job.

I suppose I could start something full time and ask for a reduction later. But I’m a bit worried on how long I’ll be able to handle working full time.

How do you make sure every possibility is covered though?

I don’t really go to a doctor regularly.

Do you think I should? And try to find a doctor which seems competent? But how do you evaluate this? And how regularly should you visit a doctor?

Usually when I finally get to a doctor, most of my symptoms are already over. When feeling bad, I typically won’t make an appointment because I feel mentally incapable. Unable to make an appointment, get there, and then manage to explain what is wrong.

That sounds almost impossible to me.

What do you do then though?

I find myself getting even more tired if i spend that time on my phone for example.

Here it’s quite typical to have a 30 min break for lunch.

But that’s just spent on getting food, eating and returning to the office.

It just doesn’t feel enough for me on a given day.

And I’m really bad at figuring out how to take short breaks like my colleagues do. Having a 10 min talk with coworkers doesn’t really feel like a break. And I often don’t know how long and what kind of things are acceptable, so I tend to avoid taking any breaks.

Sounds stupid, but there is just some kind of underlying fear that I can’t get out of my head. And having less time to work on my actual responsibilities make that more stressful as well.

I suppose I wouldn’t have noticed it because usually the moments I’m doing more sports are also the moments when I’m not working and usually not meeting people. (Since I wouldn’t have the energy otherwise)

Might be good to keep an eye out for those activities after sports, thanks for the suggestion!

How do you find a cool spot and quiet time when at work?

I find this very difficult to achieve in an office environment. Although I definitely need it.

Just the though of somebody asking me why I’m sitting somewhere separately makes me uncomfortable. So I tend to avoid taking these kind of breaks. I know, sounds stupid. But I feel so uncomfortable if I’m thinking about how other people will interpret it.

I think not having time for myself to just think or relax can be one of the most demotivating things to realize.

I understand that I need to work to earn money to survive, but when I’m working, I start having difficulties staying on top of chores and I don’t really have energy left to enjoy what little time remains.

This quickly turns into exhaustion, depression and whatnot. Which eventually lowers my performance at work until I just have to quit to recover.

When out of a job, I tend to recover decently over a period of a few months. But soon I’ll have bills to pay and no money left, so back to work it is. And the cycle repeats.

I definitely noticed this. But also the opposite seems to be true.

When i worked at the office in my last job, I find it almost impossible to take a decent break. When I’m in the office, it seems like the only thing I can do is work. But that quickly leads to exhaustion.

At home I can more easily take a break. But then I have to be careful I don’t turn it into a gaming/browsing binge.

Just sitting in front of my computer and working can already be enough trigger to start wasting time on other activities on my computer.

My apartment is a bit too small to have separate areas for work and play though. And i don’t really have the funds to have a separate computer setup for either.

What should I look out for to notice the difference?

I am surprisingly bad at noticing my own mental state, especially when tired.

Usually after exercise I just feel like I need rest. Then I have some rest or a nap and I feel pretty much like normal again. I can’t seem to tell very well.

I think it’s more the feeling that somebody will call me out when resting, or that I might miss something important, or unfamiliarity with the people around me.

At work i already feel like I’m constantly alert. Trying to sing anything that make me look like a bad employee.

Until my energy runs out of course. Then I usually still force myself to keep working, but everything goes at a glacial pace and my tiredness just accumulates even further.

I did. And usually they say I’m perfectly healthy and recommend me to see a psychiater.

For some reason I feel like there is still something else underlying this though. Usually when I’m feeling depressed or anxious it’s because I’m also feeling uncomfortable or painful in some way. And it passes after the pain is gone.

But I have no idea how to describe this to the doctor and all their basic tests just show nothing.

I also don’t feel particularly unhealthy, i eat quite well and do exercise (although not super intensive)

I’m really jealous when I see these older colleagues who smoke multiple times per day and are visibly overweight. And somehow they have 10x the energy of me.

Sometimes I wonder if people around me are all on performance enhancing drugs or something. That’s what it feels like. I tried drinking coffee in the past, but I can’t really deal with the taste, and it seems to make me drowsy for some reason.

I think high intensity also gives better results for me. But I can really start sweating like crazy, even with moderate exercise.

I once joined Zumba and was completely soaked and exhausted afterwards. Didn’t want to do it ever again (even though I kinda liked it)

I actually have classpass here, so maybe i should try out the month trial. How expensive are classes in general? Are the businesses that work with classpass decent quality?

I actually went to the doctor once because I almost fainted when taking a blood pressure test. I have this occasionally, also when riding a bus or train when it’s hot outside.

They did some basic tests, but didn’t do a tilt test because at that moment, i didn’t seem to have any issues.

Actually, most of the time I go to doctors, they say I’m perfectly healthy and nothing is wrong. But I do feel uncomfortable and painful relatively often.

I also think that when I visit any doctor, my heartrate shoots up, which brings it closer to the normal or higher range. Even though from day to day, my heart rate is typically very low and I frequently feel like blacking out when standing up.

I don’t really have a strong mindset though, so i will typically not challenge a doctor’s opinion. Especially not when I’m feeling low energy and tired (which is usually when I go to the doctor)

Would be good to have a professionals opinion on it for sure. I haven’t had that great experience with therapists though.

Not that they were bad, but they didn’t seem to understand how a lot of things simply didn’t apply to me or affect me differently.

Most of the advice I got, I already understood very well. Or researched by myself in detail. But there always seems to be a point where it comes down to ‘just do it’ and I don’t manage to. Or only for a certain period, and then everything collapses again.

I think one aspect that’s especially difficult for me is that I can’t tell when I’m doing better. After I start some routine for exercise, I just don’t notice any significantly difference over a period of a month or so. (In terms of mood specifically)

Eventually I give up, because it seems like it’s having no effect, but still requires significant time and effort.

I probably should try doing this.

But the cost of gym classes kinda scares me off. Especially at this moment when I’m not really earning any income.

Definitely feels like it would be easier to join a class than follow my own training plan though. And having some other people to motivate you sounds great.

Ever find a way to deal with this?

Is it just that I’m unable to work as much as other people and should reduce my hours (not really easy though)

Or am I doing the wrong things, losing too much energy because of certain tasks or masking too much or something?

It’s so difficult to tell. And when you feel like all energy is used up, I’m no longer making good decisions at that point. So easy to waste time on useless stuff then.

Yeah. That’s often something I also have difficulties with.

I can deal with working, or I can do chores, cook, administration and keeping home.

But i can’t seem to do both.

If I’m working full time, I just don’t have the energy left to deal with these tasks. Which also quickly drops my energy further as now I’m eating less healthy, not keeping up with bills and living in a messy environment.

It’s hard to deal with. I’m lucky I can still last some time without working, but it won’t last forever. A few months at most.