AdmiralDoohickey @ AdmiralDoohickey @lemmygrad.ml

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11

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65

Joined

2 yr. ago

Me too. I studied my ass off in uni and actually graduated with an insanely high grade but that doesn't seem to mean much to employers. I don't have many acquaintances and those that I do have, weren't able to help me with finding a job. So here I am, sitting on my ass all day and sending applications and getting a bit more insane with each horrible thing I stumble upon. I actually got an offer which I rejected (kind of regret this one) but I had my reasons. I have to relocate to the capital and the fuckers wanted to put me on an 1 month probation period. So suppose I wasn't the one they wanted, would I have to go back after one month? For fucks sake

This is real, someone actually asked this in a 100% genuine job application form

I feel like that about my partner of almost 2 years too sometimes and it's horrifyingly anxiety inducing (I have that as an OCD theme). I think it's natural though (and common), it is a big commitment so your brain tries to protect you from possible harm. In the end, we will never know how it will go before we try (with our respective relationships) and this sort of future prediction attempts only prevents us from enjoying these changes in our lives to the fullest. Do you have some anxiety disorder by any chance?

Thanks for the kind words

It's been 5 months and I still haven't found a job, and it's getting to me to the point that I am having a depression relapse. I have done some interviews and even received an offer (which I rejected because the guy wanted me to pass an one month probation period and wouldn't wait for me to relocate + bad vibes after an 100 question personality test that outed me as "unsociable" and "not kind enough"), but I am still holed in my home all day. If I didn't have my girlfriend I would be completely fucked mood-wise now.

I am doing something wrong for sure, I can't lie easily, I probably take the job requirements at face value and I am very bad at self-learning (without a structured environment like school), but what I can do when I have autism, ADHD and OCD, it's too much sometimes. I can't network or write a ton of cover letters or fish for referals in LinkedIn as easily as a neurotypical could.

I want to work and contribute to society. I am actually pretty decent at what I do, and I graduated with an insane GPA. Just hire me already AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Play OFF

I was also disappointed when I first heard of them

Aren't those Taiwanese?

If you found Heavensward really boring then you might like Shadowbringers but you won't find it to be something special and Stormblood would kill you from boredom so it's good that you stopped

Thanks for posting this, I had played the first one with friends and the sequel looks way better

YMMV but it unironically gets good in the first expansion and the third expansion is actually great. However it is a very lopsided experience so I guess I wasn't left wholly satisfied

I feel that life was so tiresome until this point (OCD, depression, undiagnosed autism, the poorly implementated lockdowns, uni etc) that I just want to relax (obviously I will still work) with my gf as long as my material conditions allow it. Im short, I am a tired coward.

Also, social interactions with most people stress me out and I can't do them very correctly so that's an extra hurdle as well.

Besides, I haven't managed to read a lot of theory, so I won't be able to apply my useful attributes (over-analyzing / attention to detail) to help somehow.

The only game released in 2023 that I played is Void Stranger, and it was very good but I didn't like the meta-puzzle part of the game (I am too impulsive / inattentive to catch that stuff) so that soured my experience a bit. The actual sokoban puzzles I liked a lot though, as well as the music and story (the ending was meh though).

Of those that I played this year, my favorite games were:

Planescape Torment

Very good narrative and a unique setting AND the party felt like something out of a JRPG instead of something out of a western game which I really liked

FFXIV: Shadowbringers

The 5.0 MSQ is a good story about overcoming loss and despair, our near future climate change troubles and class consciousness. The dungeons and trials were really good this time. So far the post-launch patches (I have played 5.1-5.3) were a bit redundant / fanservicey but I enjoyed them.

Hollow Knight

Nothing to say that hasn't been said a million times here.

Xanadu Next

Japanese Diablo / Zelda fusion RPG with a good story and a great world which is revealed little-by-little as you progress. This isn't a well known game but I wholeheartedly recommend it.

Astlibra Revision

The dev is very horny and the game features many instances of problematic sexualization but I can't help but adore the game for the batshit insane time-travel story which somehow makes sense and holds up, the unique combat system and the amazing soundtrack compiled from various royalty free tracks (I discovered Shimajiro through it, who is a great artist). Also, I admire the dev's dedication, he worked on the game for 15 years before releasing it.

For multiplayer games, I enjoyed playing Guild Wars 2 and Final Fantasy XIV with my girlfriend, and also Deep Rock Galactic and the Calamity mod for Terraria. We also tried Rabbit & Steel's demo, which is a co-op bullet hell roguelike with MMO mechanics (similar to FFXIV) and it was pretty good, so I am looking forward to its release in 2024.

I avoided it because of the team that made it. Not the Jordan Peterson thing (seems it was just a phase and the writer isn't a reactionary), but because I thought the writing in The Messenger was bad (even if funny at times), and that the same writer wasn't qualified to writefor an RPG.

Seems like I dodged a bullet.

Yeah what you are saying is right, I just don't want to pressure her considering she is in a bad state right now (without a sufficiently high anti-psychotic dose she self-harms and is suicidal). I also suspect that she is neurodivergent but she doesn't want to self-diagnose (due to the same absolute honesty that lead to [1]), and her psychiatrist doesn't want to diagnose her while she is depressed (which I think is gender bias bullshit because he didn't even need to diagnose me to call me an aspie lmao)

Thanks for the answers, I guess I will make another question. Do non-binary people have those mismatches as well, or it's pretty much neurodivergent people who can't fit the gender roles that are asked from them and express themselves differently? I am a ND cis male and I don't fit with most men (too aggressive for no reason, and I am not really masculine in personality) so I can kind of understand why someone wouldn't want to conform to their gender, but I wonder if there is a biological component to it

My bad

Watch Cronenberg's "The Fly", it's not jumpscare horror but more psychological and a very good film besides

They could also be ND my dude. I'm autistic and also struggle a lot with this

Shits fucked, I am searching for a software engineer job and I stumbled upon a job listing that offered 50k USD a year. The job wasn't about actually coding, but about overseeing the training process of an AI that generates code. They will pay you more that x5 of what my teacher parents make in order to train your replacement, it makes me fucking mad