Like something designed by a robot who doesn't understand humans

When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. You should now feel mentally invigorated.
- If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music.
  [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
- ooh i hope series 2 is good
- explain th joke plz
  
  Portal 2 intro

This looks like, and “Wellness room” sounds like, a gender neutral term for a lactation room.
The description in that Wikipedia article sounds much nicer and more elaborate than what we actually had at my last office.
- Also sounds much nicer than "crying room" or "panic attack room"
  
  This hangs outside at the door:
- That all sounded very wholesome until Wikipedia mentioned that it was instead of maternity leave...
- Precisely what this is, with the added benefit (to the company) of being used as a prayer room or other various employee needs.
  Converting storage to these private/meditation/wellness (corporation dependant branding for them) rooms has been very common.
  
  Imagine the conflict when the woman who needs to pump breast milk and the man who needs to spread his prayer mat and pray meet at the door.
  Although I guess it would be easily solved by him putting on a sleep mask. (Earplugs if he finds the squirt squirt of breast milk arousing or distracting.) Or if the entry door is on the East end of the room.
- Those do usually need a fridge and sink though. Not sure if it's a code requirement, but all the ones I've seen had that.
  Might be why the call it a 'wellness room', instead of a mothers room; doesn't meet the legal requirements.
  
  Maybe it varies state by state. This is what I found when looking for federal requirements:
  a place, other than a bathroom, that is shielded from view and free from intrusion from coworkers and the public, which may be used by an employee to express milk
- Yep that’s exactly what this is.

My former employer had a relaxation room that looked like this.
It was sound-proof and had a massage chair in it.
The door to the room was within direct line of sight of the boss's desk.
I tried going in there once, but the boss called me over and gave me more work.
- Your former boss is an asshole.
- It was sound-proof
  Ah. The Scream Closet.
  but the boss called me over
  Ah, the ol' Sci-Fi classic: I Have A Scream Closet, But I Cannot Scream.
  
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiCZP09F6FQ
  
  The Scream Closet Ending was my favorite.

The first thing I did the moment I saw this was imagine seeing this in Portal, and hearing GLaDOS say something like "Welcome to the Aperture Science wellness room, where test subjects can de-stress after a long day of testing"
- "Please commence relaxing."
  BZZZZZT
  "You should now be rejuvenated."

This is some real life Severance shit.
- I might be into it though if Reileen Kawahara will come in and tell me what a good boy my Outie is.
  
  Please refrain from expressing desires or preferences, that’s ten points off. You have 90 points remaining.
- I was thinking the exact same thing. The weird length makes it feel menacing.

Severance-core

im almost certain this is a breastfeeding/pumping room, but given a neutral name
Either way, it seems like a nice place to take 10 and scroll on my phone for a minute so i support it
the real question would be what sort of limitations does your employer have around it?
Ive worked at places that had ping pong tables and videogame stations in the break room but if you only get a 30min break for a 8 hour shift when are you meant to use these "happiness and welness" facilities
- when are you meant to use these
  You aren't. They are solely there to provide a chance for HR to claim it's awesome slaving for this company, either as a hiring lie, or as a retention lie.
- I love how some forms of inclusion can be so multiple purpose.
  I absolutely can believe this started as a breastfeeding room but it easily doubles as social-break room for autists/introverts.
  This one even has room to pace back and forth, thats like all i am doing when i am really stressed.
- At my workplace, you really just use them whenever. I'm a developer and we are encouraged to change environments when we are stuck or working on solving a problem. Or any time you just need to recalibrate your brain for 10-15 minutes.
  Obviously, you can't just sit there all day, but sometimes we like to go there when others go for a smoke break. And sometimes nothing works and everything is annoying, then you can just say: "I'm gonna take 10 and come back with fresh eyes".
  
  I work in an entirely different industry than you, but we have "going for a walk" when we need a moment to clear our minds
  I love taking a little 10 minute stroll about the place as a "break"
- We had a ping pong table and after 2 days had to stop using it because the noise upset the developers.

Place I used to work at had a room labeled "Safe Space" that I can only assume was mandated by corporate because the store manager hung a framed photo of a snowflake on the wall in it. He wasn't there for very much longer, wonder why?

The chair gives +15 comfort and the painting gives +20 inspiration and if there's at least one empty tile next to it the effect covers a 50m radius so I don't see the problem???
You pepper a few of these on every floor and as long as you don't overuse Crunch Time, this will carry you through the midgame with basically zero upkeep.
Wellness rooms are OP if anything tbh.
- Hit space to talk
  "um. that was a jump. you're jumping."
  
  Portal 2 is such a banger.
- And carpet and ceiling. My Oxygen Not Included dupes wish they had it so good.

By Terraria rules, that's a house fit for a princess

Why aren't people enjoying the wellness ~~closet~~ room? I specifically requested it.

Looks like a Dwarf Fortress bedroom
- is upset because his bedroom does not have a cabinet or a chest
  
  There is an +elven leather throne+ and a -wall engraving-. What else do you need, you noble?
- My rimworld prisoner about to be inflicted with the war crime of eating with table.

I used to hide in a literal storage room when i worked at walmart (I wanted to be away from all people on my breaks). At least this has a comfy chair.

I am an engineer that does power design for commercial spaces. These "wellness" rooms show up a lot. They are there simply so your corporate overlords can tick a little box under "workplace atmosphere" and add it to the list of bullshit features on their website no employee ever actually uses. It's very similar to "mother's rooms", only those can be considered code compliant based on your location. Sometimes they are also called "phone rooms."
I think architects upsell them into designs to boost their self esteem.
It's a lot like when old apartment buildings gut a storage room, put a few pieces of shitty gym equipment in it, and then add "on site fitness center" to the website, and also tack a small monthly fee on your rent.
If I had a dollar for every existing office space I've surveyed that ended up just piling office supplies in them, or found them covered in 3 inches of dust... I'd probably have like $100. Not a ton, but enough to definitely make them seem ridiculous.

How am I supposed to jerk off in there?
- BYOP.
  
  You'd still have to like turn the chair so your back is to the door, unless you want someone to barge in while you're mid orgasm
- Please repeat your question clearly into the room microphone. Instructions will follow.

The design is very human.

It's a literal requirement in many commercial buildings. They're for breastfeeding in the code of many municipalities, but you can't call them booby rooms so they're "wellness rooms". A commercial space I was looking at required 2 nursing/wellness rooms because of the size. For a team of 10 dudes. Ridiculous
- A commercial space I was looking at required 2 nursing/wellness rooms because of the size. For a team of 10 dudes.
  The premise of these rules is that they apply regardless of gender, in order to avoid incentivizing an all-male office specifically to avoid regulations. Now, if you do decide your company doesn't need to be a pure sausage fest, you won't be on the hook to build out a new room specifically to accommodate someone of the opposite gender.
  And, in the meantime, you've got a space to take a private phone call or pop an advil and close your eyes for a minute, if you feel the need.
  
  Ding ding ding. It’s not about the current state of your workforce. It’s about what your workforce could be in the future, and ensuring that future candidates aren’t discriminated against just because of decisions made by employees who don’t even work there anymore.
- You need to fit all the requirements, regardless of the current composition of your company. Are you saying that you will never hire women? If a woman interviewed there, she would be put off by the lack of accomodations.
  2 rooms is a bit much for 10 people, but one is totally understandable if you ever intend to hire women.

When what you really need to relax is the comfort of white noise from the air ducts in the walls, florescent lighting and a sense that not only does time not pass, but it doesn't even exist. Enjoy your mental health liminal space, employees.
- I would non-ironically love it. Especially with a door locked from the inside. It just looks comfy and calm. Or maybe I just enjoy the ambiance of the toilets, dunno.

some box checker tiked a box for this.
fuck you slaves

That's where your wellness goes to die I believe

This has severance vibes
- Please enjoy all vibes equally

When you feel well, go there.
- When you feel, go in there to cease feeling.

If you pad the walls with sound proof material and allowing people to scream and shout till their lungs burst, then it becomes a real wellness room
- And a punching bag with the boss' face on it

To be fair, this is the perfect room for Eustace from Courage the Cowardly Dog. It's just missing a TV and a newspaper.

I remember this scene from Severance.

It's the existential dread room.

Looks like I took a wrong turn in the Stanley Parable

It’s almost complete… just need to add a camera.
- That's very presumptuous of you to assume they don't already have one.

Why do these rooms that are supposed to be good for your mental health always look so vapid and empty? Pure white walls and black sofas are depressing to me.
- They help with sensory/stress/emotional overload by purposefully being understimulating. Think of them as a nice quiet and secluded place to collect your thoughts and help your mind calm down/relax.
  Edit: (stupid autocorrect)
  
  But would it hurt to put a plant or two in there?
  
  Does that actually work for anyone? Under stimulation is an okay goal I guess, but to me this just looks like a claustrophobic and painfully lit anxiety echo chamber. If this was a room where one could turn out the lights and take an actual nap, I might feel different.
- They don't want you to use them.
  
  100%, They are there exclusively to fill a line in a expense report for People and Culture to justify their policies.
- This place needs a window.

To be fair, I'd be absolutely vibing in a room like this. Probably wouldn't help a panic attack though.

straight out of The Stanley Parable
- OH, DID U GET THE WELLNESS ROOM ENDING? THEW ELLNESS ROOM ENDING WAS MY FAVRITE!1 XD

Businessmen live like this and think it's normal.

Thats not a wellness room, thats a confinememt chamber.

If anyone ever suggested i sit in that room I’d walk out the door
…the other door, the one that leaves the building.
- "that's the window"
  "I know"

When I worked for the NHS the building had one of these. We called it a respite room to calm down, I think many folks used it to have a cry and get on with work.

Looks just like my last AirB&B, TBH.

Its non-Euclidean

Replace the overhead light with a desk lamp, get a rug and some wall hangings in there, maybe some fairy lights, a little bookshelf. Could be super cozy.

That's for someone to pump milk. Probably doesn't get used much.

Permanently Deleted

I must be a robot then because that looks pretty nice. Having a room with a comfortable chair I can sit in by myself for like 20 minutes and not be disturbed would be great. I used to do desktop support at a big hospital and I had a key to an empty suite on one floor that had several sparsely furnished rooms like this that we stored equipment in. When I needed to concentrate on something I would go sit in there with my laptop and work in the quiet. It was wonderful.

Not as spacious or feature-rich as the cells at supermax prison ADX Florence.