What song should I play for my bathroom neighbors?
What song should I play for my bathroom neighbors?
The work bathroom is currently a warzone, on their phone speakers people like to play music, play games at full blast, and one guy likes to chill to ambient rainforest. What song can I play to passive aggressively make it known that I don't want to listen to their tik tok feeds while I work out my demons?
You need to find the natural resonance frequency of the room, or stall, and make that noise. The whole room will be a huge subwoofer.
But all these tips aside, am I the only one to think that it's shameful to be on my phone on the toilet with sound so that others hear? Especially in the workplace? What kind of workplace is this? Median/average age?
Anything about unionisation, the boss will have security staff in there the next day.
Can you encourage them to hurry up with a bit of "Push It" by Salt-N-Pepa?
"Push it"
"Push it real good"Pornography, the weird ASMR kind
I could be friends with the rainforest guy. Seems like a chill dude, just wants to shit in peace.
Raining Blood - Slayer
I have a very special set of songs for you:
- Hamster Dance
- Lama Song
- Scooter - How much is the fish
- Aqua - Barbie girl
Now, listen,here is the important part: You do not play all four songs in a row,oh no. You play the first song in a loop for days, every time you go to the loo. Maybe even place a loudspeaker with a motion sensor there.
Then you stop. And once they feel secure again, when they pull out their stupid phones again, then you strike again. With the same song!
Then,after a while you stop again. Wait for a while. Of course, they have learned and then expect the previous song again. But nooo! Another one,not one bit better than the first one.
Break their pooping souls this way!
You want something with a lot of percussion.
Party Rock Anthem vocals only at half-speed.
Ponponpon 10hrs
+1 for CBAT
Anything looped. I like badger badger mushroom mushroom. https://youtu.be/EIyixC9NsLI
Here's what you do. You hire local police to stand outside your stall. Then you connect your phones bluetooth up to the offices speakers that are EVERYWHERE. After you've done this, you start playing Goldbergs WCW theme. Then one of the guards bangs on the door, and you come out in your boxers.
Now hang on, because this is where it gets crazy. As you storm out of the stall, you rip other stall doors down while screaming like a beast. Then you storm out of the bathroom, and thats when the sparks and pyro is going off. Keep in mind, that goldberg theme is still playing over all those speakers in the ceiling. You're breathing smoke. There's explosions, and you're just giving everyone the crazy eyes as you walk back to your cubicle. Then for no reason you punt the little deskside trash can CLEAR across the room with trash flying everywhere.
I mean......it's going to cost about $600,000 to do this one time poop, and I imagine you maaaaaaaay have some difficulty securing local cops to come guard your bathroom stall because you want to make one kickass reason to get fired. I mean, you could always use mall security off duty, but it's just not the same.
You'll have an interesting story at your next interview though.....
"So. How did you leave your last job?"
"Funny you should ask...."
Hockey Scores.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VbZMnF1VNlE&pp=ygUXaG9ja2V5IHNjb3JlcyBtZW1lIHNvbmc%3D
Ideally, start multiple looping instances of the song, at between 0.5 to 2.0 second delays.
Edit: Or, the Terrifying Tiny Tim rendition of Tiptoe Through The Tulips.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zcSlcNfThUA&pp=ygUYdGlwdG9lIHRocm91Z2ggdGhlIHR1bGlw
Baby Shark on full blast
find the most obscene shitting sfx and play that at full blast to cover your full blasts
Dude. Everybody needs to relax. Try this next time to get in the proper frame of mind.
"Nobody likes me" by the northern boys
You should play my song, Angry Desire. Lots of drums and a repeating main synth. Also it's awesome.
what else.
Jimmy Buffett - The Asshole
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=hDF01C6E7wM
Frank Carter and the Rattlesnakes - I Hate You
1812 Overture
Metal Machine Music. They'll love it.
Wing - Dancing Queen
Look up "It's Raining Tacos"
Earth 2: Special Low Frequency Version
almost anything by Negativland
Kontakte by Karlheinz Stockhausen
almost anything by Einstürzende Neubauten
Throw a dart at the 100 gecs discography?
Something super hype. Maybe "Boom" - POD
The shipping forecast?
Dont add to the problem. Just buy some headphones or earbuds.
Dante's Inferno: Beatrice A XXX Parody
Play a few talks from Sergeant Hartman.
- Get that passive aggressive shit outta here; either say something direct or resign yourself to that being the way it is and enjoy yourself
- I recommend the enjoy yourself option though. Your Mama or Punk Rock Girl or a MrBallen podcast
"Cha Cha Cha" by a Finnish dude named Käärijä.
Play it on repeat to really annoy them. And blast it as loud as possible (until they call the police on you)
I'd play something funny
I think that Diamanda Galas - The Litanies of Satan (or any other of her works) will be appropriate.