1y ago

only two options

66 comments

"Welcome to Applebee's! Would you like apples or bees?"
"Bees?"
"HE PICKED THE BEES!" chefs angrily shake jars of bees
- Spiders it is, then.
  
  This is an Applebee's, not an Outback Steakhouse
- I can visualize this so clearly and it feels like a fever dream
Applebee's is a bar, so all bees served at Applebee's are technically, Bar Bees.
(Now available on Blu-ray and select streaming services)
- Oh Margot not only are you an incredible actress but a hilarious comedian! So cool we have a famous celebrity like you within the fediverse!
  
  That's esteemed academy award nominated actress Margot Robbie to you!
Wife: what are you thinking about having?
Me: my ass ate out
Waiter:.... I'll give you some more time.
Welcome to Dicks. Can I help you find anything?
- There's a fast food chain in the Seattle area called Dick's and their motto for a while was "eat a bag of Dick's".
  
  This just proves to me more and more that my business partners were/are prudes. We started a bratwurst stand. I wanted our slogan to be "We just want our sausage in your mouth." They voted it down because it was "too risqué."
  
  This is amazing. Would eat Dick's.
  
  And as Sir Mix-A-Lot said: "Dick's is the place where the cool hang out; the swass like to play and the rich flaunt clout"
- I'll have the balls
  
  I Will have the bees
- Have any been spotted?
Haven't had bees, but crickets are pretty good once you get over the initial mental hurdle. Kinda crunchy and earthy.
- I had salt and vinegar crickets. They were good, as long as you didn't try to savor them.
  
  I had mine in taco form. Spiced with cumin and probably fried, they were good when the legs weren't getting stuck in my teeth, haha
  
  Careful, you might trigger a conservative.
"So the choice is ... or bees?" (which is two Eddie Izzard references in one)
- I'll have the chicken
  
  My god it’s full of bees!
- I'll have the chicken then.
This one would be funnier if it said slightly less.
- The real solution is to not go to Applebee's and make your own frozen food at home.
Do they have the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees?
On the flip side, you’ll get free lip fillers and fresh honey.
Cooked in 1000°C
- Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
  Cooked in 1000°C
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
u
Saved two letters, Skippy. Your efficiency makes up for the news that we're not worth 2 letters.
- Some creole languages actually use single letters like that, so some people you're mocking may just be doing habits from their native language. Why bother complaining? It's such a minor thing to get up in arms about.
  
  hilarious take
- Honestly it's the right call. We're really not worth it.
  
  "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!"
- It's Twitter, dude. You're limited by character count

66 comments