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AuDHD @lemmy.world

SubArcticTundra @lemmy.ml

1y ago

I keep fucking forgetting what I'm doing every 30 seconds. It's crippling me

I can't work on maths problems: by the time I key a calculation into my calculator I've forgotten what I was actually calculating.

When I open my phone to write an email, by the time I have the 'new email' screen open I've forgotten what I wanted to write and to whom.

When I go off looking for something in another room, I forget what I was looking for by the time I've entered it. I constantly mutter 'What was I doing? What was I doing?'

This is so debilitating -- I can't live like this. What can I do?

23 comments

That’s not really normal. Off the top of my head, in order from most likely to least, here’s a list of things to check. Unfortunately, all of them cost money.
Carbon Monoxide detector. Put the batteries in outdoors before you set it up in your house: some require calibration in clear air first. Follow instructions.
Schedule a MD appointment to discuss this. Or at least monitor your heart rate while you’re asleep to see whether it might be sleep apnea. You might also ask about getting tested for ADHD.
Check for black mold or water leaks, probably requires a plumber, or home inspection, or your own testing hardware.
Can you change your diet to see if it’s anything you’re allergic to, like nuts or rat poison? Do you make your own food?
A Geiger counter works wonders to see if anyone’s stored unprotected fissile material in your home, like that wacko who disassembled smoke detectors.
- Resolving Carbon monoxide detector issues can be a straight up lifesaver.
  
  "Stop eating rat poison" is also solid advice.
Coffee
Exercise
Vyvanse/Adderall
Firm sleep routine
Reduce background noise and clutter
Take regular work breaks, use a timer or alarm
In no particular order, some or all of these may not help or be counterproductive
- Thanks. Were/are you struggling with this as well? Does the Vyvanse/Aderall stop the forgetting?
  
  I have terrible memory issues that seem to be hereditary. The things that help the most are having a daily routine and minimizing things that might sidetrack me mid-task. If someone asks me a question while I'm carrying something, it's pretty likely the thing will be lost.
  Stimulants would be more useful for maintaining focus on a task like filling out forms or mathematics work. I don't think they necessarily help with general memory issues, but all these things together make it much easier to maintain focus.
  The single biggest contributor to focus, memory, and mental health issues for me personally is sleep quality. If you snore, or you wake up with back or leg pain, etc., that carries over and adds up over time. There's no magic bullet, just a lot of incremental improvements that don't seem to do anything on their own.
  
  Stimulants shouldn't affect memory directly but, at the same time, they kinda do. Take myself as an example, I have good long term memory but just like you I also forget things I just thought (or was told). That means the problem here is not retrieving information stored in my brain, but actually saving it in my head. What stimulants might do is improve focus, so you actually save the info in your brain before forgetting it. This doesn't necessarily work for everyone, but it's a common treatment for ADHD for a reason.
You need to talks to a (mental) health professional.
It could be adhd. I could be burn out. It could be lots of things. There’s help, but every cause needs a different approach.
Try wearing ear plugs. At least the basic foam ones. It feels like I'm underwater, everything is slightly muffled and somehow, they help me focus tremendously. This is how I realized my difficulties focusing come mostly from my sound environment. Recently an autistic 3d modeler I follow on twitter (Jordan Cain) recommended a pair of ear plugs which apparently block select frequencies but let through the ones usually associated with speech, the idea being that you can wear them "socially", and they won't block conversation, just the noise around you. The brand is "Loop", I ordered a pair, it's yet to arrive. Good luck <3
Different medications at different dosages and ever more elaborate coping strategies until you find one that works.
- What kind of meds help with this? I know that stimulants help to calm an under-stimulated brain, but memory has nothing to do with this right?
  
  It's difficult (and potentially irresponsible) to answer this over social media, so if you can you should discuss this with doctors and specialists.
  If you're finding that you fill your working memory up with things for Task A, then get distracted by Task B, then come back to Task A only to find the working memory is gone and you need to start over from scratch then yes, stimulants can potentially help there by both reducing distractions and making that working memory less volatile.
  Ultimately the only way is to know is through a continuous process of trial and error with a good doctor.
  I assumed your post was somewhat hyperbolic but if not (or the symptoms have been getting worse), you should find that doctor right now. Write it on your hand in Sharpie if that's what it takes to remember the next step.
  Looking at your other comments though, I can relate and so could many people I know, all of whom have been put on stimulants. Context switches can be brutal with ADD, especially if they're involuntary.
Is something tying up one or more of your ~7 registers? It's hard to do complex tasks when that happens.
Could be a trauma of some sort, some emotion wanting expression, general worrying, loneliness, grief, dunno. It's just a theory I have that when they all get full, we tend to 'crash'.
Offloading some stuff to a notes or tasks app might help.
Certain types of music might help as well, to distract some part of your brain.
We're strange creatures.
It could be a medical issue though, in which case you probably need assistance from someone qualified.
- Is something tying up one or more of your ~7 registers?
  Hmm, I don't think so. I have no problems programming (where I can focus for hours and within complex class hierarchies). It seems to be more of a problem when the nature/aim of the task is constantly changing (like when solving a physics problem or applying for a grant -- that's when I forget what I'm doing and what the end goal is), and when I get bombarded with irrelevant info (like when opening the app overview or inbox on my tablet). So it seems to be more of a task-/context-switching problem.
  Offloading some stuff to a notes or tasks app might help.
  Agreed. I use Google Keep/Calendar and timers on my phone to free my mind of as many background to-dos as possible.
I use physical cards for some tasks. What was I doing? Oh, I've got this card in my hand. It won't help if it's so severe that the context switch to write on the card obliterates the task before it gets written down, but it definitely helps me when I'm changing locations for a task.
- Ah, this is an interesting idea.
Have you tried marijuana?
- I almost suggested the same. I have been vaporizing herb for a few months, it can help me get into a state of flow that's otherwise hard to attain. It also calms my anxiety in small doses (big doses can have the opposite effect). But it's a double-edged sword, because it can also encourage idling. This means I make sure I am stimulated (mentally speaking) before doing any vaping, then when I start I'm already treading the good path and it's easier to maintain that momentum. Otherwise I'm at risk of firing up Cyberpunk and doing parkour for an hour. I sometimes end up over-obsessing on a single task (multitasking is utterly impossible), and when it's done I naturally engage the next task in such a smooth and determined way I don't even recognize myself.
  This, paired with earplugs, works for me. But then again I work from home. It's not possible for everybody.

23 comments