Current status: agonizing standby

My friends like to make plans but refuse to decide on a meeting time so that I'm stuck in torturous limbo land all day. Assholes don't understand the pain.

"oh I wasn't sure if you are still coming so I made other plans"

Better than a 7am appointment, now that will really ruin my day. Doesn't matter if I got 8 hours sleep the night before (I definitely didn't but let's pretend for a moment), I'm going to be tired for the rest of the week.

- Unfortunately in real life that isn't an option.
- I approve this message.
I have the opposite experience. I use early appointments as a tool to get me up and moving, dressed, presentable, etc. Then I have some momentum for the later part of the morning and afternoon.

It's 2:28pm. I'm almost there. I managed to lessen the agony by researching a surgery my dog might need and making opossum memes. Just 30 more minutes, and I can have this damn meeting, then enjoy my day.

I feel like any appointment is problematic.

I hate scheduling things... but also don't call me out of the blue.
Just leave me alone, is all I'm asking.

Just reading this makes me uncomfortable

Why? That's the best time of day for an appointment. I've plenty time to actually sleep well, not rush to get ready, not be late, actually be awake when I get there. Well I might still be late

Because I'm gonna get up at 10, slowly get ready until about noon, and then be in stasis until it's time for the appointment.
- Sounds alright. I've got a phone, computer, TV, job. Might not be focused enough to actually be productive, but I'd rather that than be rushed, unready and unslept

I used to work 5pm shifts every day, it was hell until I finally just started going to bed at 8-9am and waking up an hour before my shift started. Anything can be a morning activity if you’re flexible enough on what morning means.

This is okay for me - if I have the day off, I can sleep in (that’s huge for me); if I have to work, cool, I can leave a bit early.

But I also understand that not everyone’s internal clock works the same, and so a win for one of us is a loss for others.

May everyone be able to find what works for them and make it happen :)

Internal... clock... you say? Interesting.

Bruh, 9am or bust

Or any time, really.

I'm sorry but how in the hell is this in any way related to ADHD? ADHD doesn't make you fixate on some future events all day unless you're like, super excited about it or something I guess. In fact, it's often the opposite, getting fixated/distracted by other things and ending up late to meetings if you're not careful. ADHD is a very specific disorder of executive function and while it can manifest in a variety of ways, there's always an underlying mechanism behind it that makes some kind of sense. It's not a blanket "oh I can't manage any responsibilities haha".

Seriously, people these days will just lump every little thing in with ADHD and it drives me crazy. I have had (actually diagnosed) ADHD my whole life (way before all this self-diagnosis nonsense on Tiktok) and have learned a variety of strategies for managing it. It's posts like this that make it difficult for people who actually do have ADHD, because it makes people confused about what it actually is and what it's actually like to live with. ADHD is not a Boogeyman you can blame all your problems on and treating it as such does a huge disservice to people that actually have the condition.

/rant

These adhd posts are never accurate. Mild anxiety is major adhd nowadays

We have got to stop ascribing random common mental conditions with near-universal feelings.

“That autistic urge to throw your keys when you’re walking over a bridge”

“That OCD feeling when you’re walking by a friends candle and want to smell it”

That’s not anything! Those are just parts of being a person!!

So it's common for the majority of the population to have their complete day ruined by being able to solely hyperfocus on said appointment from the time they wake up, double-, triple- and quadruple check all things related to the appointment, still develop anxiety over the however improbable idea they might have forgotten something or "fuck up" the appointment (even if that's actually not possible) and spent the time after the appointment completely exhausted and unable to participate in any other activity, including actual relaxation?
That's (or similar effects) are what people with ADHD and related disorders actually experience. If that would be common, I don't think appointments would be scheduled the way they are. It's not hard to observe that neurotypical people don't have to think about and focus on their appointments with increasing dread for an unreasonable time before the actual appointments.
You are right, the Internet certainly has its share of people that love to self-diagnose and parade around mental disorders and downright illnesses like scout badges, but let's just assume this is a (albeit funny and "meme-y") support community for people that face actual struggles.
- I cant tell if I have it or everyone has it. What percentage of the population is diagnosed?
- Just reading this excellent description makes my skin crawl.
  I’ve checked my calendar three times to make sure I have no work or personal plans for the rest of the day. Feels good.
- Literally yes
Why is it bad for us to share our commonalities with each other? Especially when those things we are routinely told aren't normal or okay. We watch neurotypical people pass us by all the time. I personally missed so many appointments before I was medicated that I had lost several mental health professionals and probably spent around a thousand dollars in missed appointment fees over the years. The whole time it was treated like a personal failing of mine that mysteriously went away once I was properly medicated.
Knowing that other people experience that, that other people know how it feels, genuinely makes it easier. It also spreads awareness like "hey do you constantly miss appointments without intending to whatsoever? Maybe there's a reason why". I think that is objectively a good thing.
- I think what he's getting at is that most of these symptoms aren't actual neuridivergeance, just people cosplaying to get sympathy likes.
  Not saying I agree, just explaining.
This and the keys thing are definitely not something the average neurotypical experiences on a day to day basis to a degree that it negatively affects their life and ability to function. Because that's how these mental conditions work, they don't have unique unheard of symptoms that no normal person will ever experience, they experience what neurotypical people occasionally experience, to a debilitating degree and/or at an excessive frequency. For someone with adhd this is an all consuming issue that happens every. Single. Time. You have an appointment, even if it's for an appointment you WANTED to happen that will only bring good things. That is not normal, and if it sounds normal to you, then you may want to book an appointment with your doctor.
Agreed. It's really annoying.