What kind of a gift can you give your teacher out of respect, but that doesn’t get mistaken for romance?
A follow up from my older asklemmy post, saying goodbye to a teacher who helped me a lot through my stuff, was thinking maybe chocolate, but one of the dudes said that it’s not a very good idea, I was thinking maybe a perfume/cologne? What do you guys suggest? She is in probably in her early 20s if it helps, and I am in senior high, damn this is getting weirder and weirder, I just want to run away lol
A greeting card with a note about how she helped you.
Material gifts will get used up and thrown out over time. But she'll collect notes and letters from her students over the years, and they will help remind her why she's teaching.
One thing I haven’t seen yet: if you can, loop your parent(s) in on this. They know the situation better than the Internet does, and if someone tries to turn the situation into something weird, they should have your back. And they’ve got some life experience to help you with your note.
Unless you’re living in a horny anime I don’t think you have much to worry about with what they think. However, don’t give your teacher perfume—that’s insane and inappropriate for anyone outside of a romantic partner / close friend.
Write them a thank-you note and get them a Starbucks gift card.
Lmao at the perfume and chocolates. You somehow beelined to the most Valentines related gifts possible.
The suggestion for a letter or card saying how much they helped you is the best idea. If you don’t feel up to writing, then think about a professional gift, like a fancy pen or something to sit on their desk. Don’t spend a lot of money, that makes it weird. Less than $30.
I’m so glad we had this talk at this stage of your life before you gave your first boss a fine bottle of perfume and then had a bewildering conversation with HR, lol.
As a former teacher, I'd never consider something a student bought me as a romantic gift, that's just not a thing. Chocolates are nice, but echoing what someone else said, a nice card with a message is really special. I still have every thank you card my students ever gave me, and I once printed out an email a student sent me when they got their first job to keep. It just gives you fuzzy feelings to think you may have been helpful.
As a teacher, I treasure all of the heart-felt notes and letters students have left me over the years. If you want to give something that shows them how important they are to you, write them a letter.
As another poster suggested: muffins and a nice card go a long way. Especially since few students show appreciation anyway. She’ll definitely appreciate the card and gesture more than any particular gift that you might include.
And definitely don’t do perfume. It’s difficult enough to shop for yourself, much less for others. Just don’t.
We had a wonderful English teacher in our college. And on the last day many students gave her some gifts. If I remember correctly, we gave a small bamboo plant that sits on a table, some squishy smiley balls aka stress balls, a custom printed tshirt, a book, and maybe a mug too.
so chocolates wouldn't necessarily be romantic unless they were... you know... romantic. Like. valentines heart boxes would be a no go. But something like a box of See's Assortment or Lindt's truffles, etc, are pretty impersonal.
A note and some trinket or candy or baked goods is probably the way to go. It doesn't have to be academic-related, for, he record. if you got to know her really well, and maybe she liked... I dunno... legos... a lego minifig key chain, as an example.
I'd just stay away from apples. Kinda cliche. And the perfume. Stay away from the perfume! that would be worse than the chocolates (not least because it's usually ridiculously expensive. Also incredibly hard to guess what kind of perfume some one might like.)
I'd also suggest that flowers are too easily misinterpreted, as well.
I teach younger ages but my favourite things are cards or artwork that the kids have made. I find the intention and effort behind them most rewarding.
Other than that I don’t mind a good gift card.
Hate chocolate and mugs, I have so much uneaten chocolate and so many mugs I don’t use. But I’m not a big chocolate person anyway, so my preference there may not match others.
If she’s still young like you said, she probably hasn’t gotten that many notes of appreciation so for sure add one along with whatever you give as the emotional support they provide gets you through shit days knowing that your sacrifice is valued.
If you know something she's interested in, try giving her a related gift. For instance, one of my professors really loved Chess, and ran a chess club at my college. I got him a Arimaa board, which is a different game based off of chess.
In my culture It'd be the other way around. Perfume could be romantic or mean 'you smell'. Chocolade, self-made cake of muffins would be alright. Or something individual, a drawing if you can do it, a nice 3d print or whatever creative hobbies you have. Yeah and somebody said a book. Lots of teachers like to read, and you know what stuff they're interested in... It's probably what they chose to teach. Or just say thank you, you helped me a lot and influenced my life for the better.... You could also instead write it down on a nice card.
Don't overthink it. A good rule of thumb, for teacher presents, are something to keep, and something to use up.
Something to use up is obvious and fairly easy. Chocolates etc work, as does wine, or bath "pampering" sets. The main thing is that they get used up and go away afterwards. Avoid excessive clutter, teachers can get a lot of it.
Something to keep is harder. You want to avoid generic clutter. Whatever it is should either be legitimately useful, or small and simple to store away. An honest, and earnest note works very well, maybe a smaller card. If you have the skills/equipment there are a few other options. E.g. I made customised slate costers for my daughter's teachers, when she left nursery. They had the teachers face on them, with a thank you message on the back. The key was they would be legitimately useful. Keeping track of mugs is always a fun game, particularly in a teaching environment. They also didn't have the nursery name on them, so they could be taken with them, if/when they changed jobs.
In short though, don't worry. It will be taken in the vain you offer it in. Inspiring that response in a student is likely one of the things they love about teaching.
Chocolate is better than perfume for sure! But personally, I feel that it really doesn't matter. It's more about the way you give it and what you say /write along with the gift. Not knowing about anything that had gone on, I wouldn't be worried about it being misunderstood
I have gifted teachers Cognac before. Some decent bottle of liquor if they're into that is fine. But early 20s might not be the target audience for brown spirits.
Make sure they're not alcoholic or a recovering one.