It's important to relax, Commander.

Taking the edge off.

Missing a 95% chance shot in Xcom and subsequently having your whole party wiped out by aliens

Pick one

Doesn't exactly match up but I use Factorio for this. Or more accurately it uses me.

I've noticed you've recently settled a statement close to my psyche, I request that you refrain from settling too close in the future to avoid any ill feelings!

Fellas, is it gay to not play StarCraft?

The map needs to slowly change to the color of my faction for my life to have any meaning.

Civ 5 here. I'll be 39 this year and play the least out of my friends group (probably 1 or 2 sessions a month where I quit 3 or 4 hours in, and once a month or less playing for 6 or more hours to almost actually finish a game). The friends I play with are all mid 40s and do a full game at least weekly. We all have wives and kids and stuff but are huge nerds i guess.

Most of us use drugs or alcohol.

That's silly, you don't know what you're talking about.

Looks at physical copies of original C&C, all three Red Alerts, Civ4, Warcraft, Dungeon Keeper 1 and 2, and a steam library with Mindustry, Factorio, Dyson Sphere Program, Captain of Industry, Desynced

How do I make the wololo dude en passant

Ah yes, a stellaris weekend full of alien genocide

Is this like a personal attack or something?

If my units have action points it also makes me feel like I'm in total control of my life which makes me happy.

After your 30s, you move on to sim or survival games.

Learning curves and time management don’t mix

I know I already replied once, but on a serious note: I would love a new IP that was like Tiberium Sun. That was my first love with RTS and nothing since has been quite as awesome. Not even StarCraft.

Red Alert 2 is cozy gaming

I think those people are the kinds of jerks who watch football. I'm not sure it helps them relax in the slightest. That would explain a few things actually...

Does the original Rome:Total War count? It's the only strategy game I return to. It's just that good.

I generally prefer something more action filled like a dungeon crawler or a bullet hell

I play cozy games instead. Can't wait for the next Animal Crossing.

I'd rather be on the ground shooting the zombies/vampires/aliens/libertarians(thanks Bioshock series).

Once every few years I have the itch to play Dune 2. It's so simple. It's the perfect RTS. Although the Harkonen Devastator is useless and the Death Hand is overpowered simply by you being lucky.

I'm about to be 40 and I'm a married, hetro-cis woman; I still do this. Though lately I've been leaning more heavily toward city builders

Patiently waiting for Homeworld 3 tho (it will not get pushed back 9 months like last year)

Man i really need to dig up SMAC or something like it.

Image Transcription: Twitter Post

*Senior Data Masseuse, @yrxcommar

extremely sus of any man in their mid 20s to mid 30s who doesn't play a map-based strategy game. Like how the fuck do you get through life without occasionally taking the edge off by moving soldiers around a map

Because I don't have any friends

Damn it, this made me realize I need to set my computer's logon sound to be the "Welcome back Commander" voice line from the Command & Conquer series.

If you have never played the original C&C Tiberian Dawn and Red Alert, you need to do so, and it is free and easy!

Just grab the stable installer from https://openra.net and install it, it works on Windows, Mac and Linux and is free.

Because I prefer to play as one of the soldiers, so I play Battlefield and Arma.

Well they weren't soldiers but now they have guns and love organ harvesting and other war crimes...

For those not interested in in the age of empires and command and conquers of the world, you always have a crusader kings to just murder all those who wrong you and then seduce their widows.