I want some suspense while I'm shopping. Some danger.

How about a giant blåhaj?

https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3008

Yeah, but the minotaur would get tired of walking around and die of exhaustion, but not before its wife said, "Stop being such a baby. This is fun!"

Minotaur makes sense, since IKEAs are labyrinths