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Nihilism. Imagine there being no past nor future, but like a child in a waiting room for the abyss you're given a paper and some crayons. Why wouldn't you try to draw the greatest piece you could? And if something goes wrong, well it's just a happy accident. It's not like this matters anyway. That's how I see my life. This mindset let's me not stress over old mistakes, while still striving to be better. I don't want to waste this metaphorical paper but it doesn't matter what I do with it in greater whole, since there isn't a greater whole.
You know, it makes so much sense, and I truly resonate with tbese ideas, but I've never been able to put them into practice. I'm still finding myself running 5 minutes late leaves me super stressed, even though I'm now at university where being late for a lecture literally does not matter, or at college, where for the last few months it really didn't matter but I still couldn't quite just relax. I've been trying to live a more stress-free life and this belief system really helps me do that, if only I could find a way to not hyperfocus on small and insignificant issues or mistakes. Stress has been hurting me, to the point where oftentimes I would find it difficult to keep my hand stillin the air, and it would just start slightly twitching, as if I have Parkinson's.
Hey have you read about Boltzmann brains? You might get a kick out of it, it's an idea that amuses me a lot: