Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my "weird misogyny takes". No drama, just possibly a simple closure.
Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my "weird misogyny takes". No drama, just possibly a simple closure.
Final Edit: I have decided to take a break from here for undecided time. I might come back when sure of myself. Limited activity at main instance.
Edit: I am replying, so please refer to them to get an idea of my worldview.
Context: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/650259 and these removed comments of mine, before Forte temp banned me
a screenshot of my comments
Before I start off, I want to tell that it is true that I am a cis het male human that holds monogamist views with the mildest of traditional takes. It is also true that despite never having had a real mother or a girlfriend in my life, I never became an incel. My mindset at the core is unapologetically survivalist, independent and masculine. I have also been chivalrous with women, and have been inclusive of the non binary communities. Some people will try to portray this as me never getting female love in life and all kinds of assumption based crap, which I can counter with years of selfless privacy community work.
I want to know what is so misogynistic about:
- a woman having multiple boyfriends and being a social player, which is very common today in the dating scene
- traditional views like monogamy instead of promiscuity are better
- social code being different for men and women
- women often dating for free food
- Western feminism not being a true representation of feminism, and how much it currently harms mainly men, and creating polarisation between both sexes
- psychology of dominance and submission in relationships factoring into the stability of any long term relationships, including marriage
Is it not deceitful to deny these patterns exist, and to just call someone misogynistic and shut down the conversation? Or have I misunderstood what Lemmygrad means for these kinds of conversations?
When did this place become so lib, that people were straight up told to "change your ways before you end up ruining a poor girl’s life", or how "using 'male' and 'female' to refer to men and women as if they're animals" is a terminology that radical feminists would otherwise get excused for? What are these assumed ideas I have that are so batshit crazy, compared to the kinds of values that hardcore masculinity gurus, Tate fans, incels/femcels hold? And what is the defined threshold expected for this place to accommodate people?
I hope I do not see a "404:site_ban" before I get to engage and get answers on this, and have a decent conversation. I am not threatening. I merely want a dialogue.
how “using ‘male’ and ‘female’ to refer to men and women as if they’re animals” is a terminology that radical feminists would otherwise get excused for?
Most radfems are also against trans people. Does this automatically give you the excuse to start being transphobic too? Despite that neither we use dehumanizing terms like "male" and "female"; nor do we believe in transphobic nonsense, so what's your excuse here?
Of course, you weren't being transphobic back in the thread but I mentioned this because, as you say, "radfems use it so it's okay if I use it too".
What, do you think we treat radfems like comrades or something? Lmfao no. Most of them can go to hell like their libfem counterparts.
When did this place become so lib
It's not "lib" to see women as something more than what you imagine women to be (merely just a pre-programmed set of behaviors without any differences or chances of growth, improvements or changes whatsoever).
Sure, some could have a few traits as mentioned above (only human after all, and some humans are scummy regardless of gender); but to say all women are like that is straight up falling towards Incel/MGTOW territory.
traditional views like monogamy instead of promiscuity are better
Very, very interesting how rather than using polygamy, you used promiscuity though. 🙂
And besides...
a woman having multiple boyfriends and being a social player, which is very common today in the dating scene
So fucking what? You men can get away with bedding lots of women and society barely bats an eye. It's only when women do the same that you guys start seething. What, do you also believe in manospherical nonsenses like how virgin women are "magical" and that a "player" woman is just "used and dried up"?
social code being different for men and women
Are these set in stone, huh? So much for being a fucking leftist if you believe in this regressing shit.
What, did you had like bad experiences with women in the past that made you develop these thoughts? Or is it the fact that you got exposed to misogynist youtubers (as a kid)? I know they are extremely popular on the subcontinent, living there myself.
What, do you think we treat radfems like comrades or something? Lmfao no.
That clarifies one point, thanks.
Sure, some could have a few traits as mentioned above (only human after all, and some humans are scummy regardless of gender); but to say all women are like that is straight up falling towards Incel/MGTOW territory.
I never said all women. I do not engage in liberal/fascist generalisation behaviours like that. However, many women in urban areas do have one or more of these behaviours, thanks to the incredible amount of sexualisation of mass media creating construed images of reality in womens' heads.
traditional views like monogamy instead of promiscuity are better
Very, very interesting how rather than using polygamy, you used promiscuity though.
Yes, I wanted to gauge a reaction on this. Polygamy is harmful for both sexes and for society as a whole. I want to cover this bit in the next part where you made a massive generalisation.
You men can get away with bedding lots of women and society barely bats an eye. It’s only when women do the same that you guys start seething.
Let me tell you a few things. Women are the gatekeepers of relationships, which includes sexual relations. If a woman says no, man will go home. And these "you men" are not all men, but probably the 10% fuckboys that engage with a lot of misled women, again, thanks to oversexualisation of mass media. This happens mostly during post teenage years upto early 30s for both sexes.
Another point I want to make is that a woman is considered purer than men for the single most important reason – she has the womb and she has to be in a healthy state to carry the baby. Woman is the one who will procreate, not the man. I know that the fuckboys/fuckgirls rationalisation is imbalanced, which is precisely why I think sex is a sacred thing, and it is not meant to be abused by anyone. Obsession with sex, drugs et al is bad for a valid reason.
Chivalry is dead. Good men never get rewarded with healthy relationships in society, until an arranged marriage in most cases has to happen. Good women either are corrupted by mass media, or get tired of the incredibly conservative families they live in, and end up marrying people they do not inherently truly love.
social code being different for men and women
Are these set in stone, huh? So much for being a fucking leftist if you believe in this regressing shit.
There are certain social codes for men and women that are simply going to exist, unless bizarre things like artificial wombs come into existence, erasing the codependency of man and woman. Yes, there are things that can be improved on both ends, and it is a very long conversation.
What, did you had like bad experiences with women in the past that made you develop these thoughts? Or is it the fact that you got exposed to misogynist youtubers
No bad experiences made me develop particular thoughts. However, one feminist whose friend I loved back in college, did tell me that my self improvement did not matter to anyone, and tried to rage bait me as well. That solidified my thoughts on liberals and not women.
I never watched Tate or Shapiro or the likes, but I try to watch a healthy mix of content, mostly averaging as moderate on the spectrum. Matthew Hussey, Kevin Samuels, J-Hall and Whatever podcast. I keep a very tight hold on what views are shared there, selectively discarding anything that goes too conservative. These tubers are not incels or MGTOW, but closer to a mix of redpill/blackpill, mostly hovering around centre or centre-right.
Polygamy / Polyandry is not harmful to society in any way, in fact it was the default for most of human history.
It was only under feudalism that the control over women's bodies began, since sexual control / repression is needed to secure heirs for control of inherited capital. Under collectivist arrangements, unknown fathers are actually beneficial, since then children become those of the entire tribe. Many cultures even had beliefs that children had several fathers, and inherited the best traits of each of them.
Read sex at dawn, and the caliban and the witch for more on this.
I keep a very tight hold on what views are shared there, selectively discarding anything that goes too conservative.
I know you don't want to hear it, as others have approached it and you dismissed them, but brother you are already on the "too conservative" views. You don't realise it any more.
The insidious thing about propaganda is that it doesn't need to be true for someone to start believing it. It just needs to be repeated enough. Being exposed to their "centre-right" bullshit will slowly make you susceptible to it and justify it to yourself. See this story. That's happened to you already, you're repeating these ideas in the same mannerisms all the "redpill" people do and don't even seem to see it.
I keep a very tight hold on what views are shared there, selectively discarding anything that goes too conservative. These tubers are not incels or MGTOW, but closer to a mix of redpill/blackpill, mostly hovering around centre or centre-right
Even if you try your best to keep yourself from having views which you consider too far right, as the political overton window shifts more to the right, what ideas do you truly consider to be "centrist" or "centre-right" and not just right wing (if not far right) ideas which have recently become acceptable in mainstream/liberal media?
Also, usage of the terms "redpill" and "blackpill" in these contexts was popularized by the MGTOW (and Anti-SJW) movement. (I was once part of those circles back in 2014 even if I was still very young back then. Once you're in there, it's not very easy to get out; You need a lot of self-reflection to truly escape it. In fact, while my old views were largely toned down over the years by a supportive community back when I was in Junior High School, it took an entire pandemic to get me to reflect and escape, and I was still at risk of returning to some more dangerous views before I finally got into Marxism.)
Self-reflection is not an easy thing, and hopefully it shouldn't be too late for you.