I think there is a sweet spot when the cereal has absorbed a bit of milk and softened, but still has a little crunch, and the milk has absorbed some flavour from the cereal. However, if you leave it too long, you'll end up with a soggy mass, which is shit. It also depends on the cereal a bit. I think nice muesli or granola usually needs a bit more softening than a lighter cereal like corn flakes or coco pops, but the latter do benefit from turning the milk sweet or chocolatey when left to soak.
Of course, like everything else in this world, we are destined to fight over it as if there are only two choices; maximum soggy and maximum crunchy.
the war between milk and cereal is a series of small skirmishes, not a big epic battle. a little cereal, a little milk. a little more cereal to finish off the milk. a little more milk because you put in too much cereal. and repeat until either the box or the jug is empty.
You know what I do? Pour a bowl of milk and then only add in a couple spoonfuls of cereal at a time. No risk of sogginess and no concerns about the ratios.
Gums? Why do you crush the cereals with your gums instead of biting with your teeth like you'd do with crackers? Do you take monster sized bites or something?
Are you eating Captain Crunch? That's the only cereal I've ever had that consistently cuts your mouth up. I don't really eat cereal anymore but when I do nothing tops Cheerios.
I'm more appalled of your use of milk with cereal. Fil or yoghurt keeps the cereal's structure much longer and even when its soggy through and through there remains some firmness.
While I would argue 99% of kitchen gadgets are dumb, wastes of space and resources, I will forever swear by having a cereal bowl with separate milk reservoir. Adding cereal a couple spoons at a time let's me actually enjoy cereal at a reasonable pace and not worry about rushing it getting interrupted while eating it. If I didn't have one, I wouldn't eat cereal at all.
I think there's a difference between soggy cereal and dry cereal. If you've got milk in the bowl then most of the cereal that's also in the bowl should be (erm)...moist?