Alphabet Shows the Mega-Layoff Announcements Were Just That, Headcount Dropped Far Less and is Rising Again

According to the article, I think a more appropriate analogy would be claiming "I'm going to sell four apples!", followed by actually selling three apples. Then claiming you spent a fortune to get out of an existing contract saying you would rent an apple-basket for x years, as well as having to pay the apples you sold because you sold them earlier than you told them you would. And then buying two apples from the person selling apples next-door that picks their apples from the same tree you picked yours from.

At the end of the day you've only lowered your apple count by one while you simultaneously:

• Manufactured a tax write-off for the expenses you incurred by prematurely selling three apples

• Manufactured a tax write-off for the expenses you incurred by prematurely terminating the agreement to rent an apple-basket

• Manufactured a tax write-off for the expenses you incurred by buying two apples from a rival apple merchant

• Sewed seeds of doubt among all fruits, vegetables, and other produce regarding their chances of finding a merchant

• Got investors to at least temporarily value your business higher because they thought you had five too many apples and were excited at the prospect of you selling four of them

Keep in mind that in this analogy you had teams of experts that calculated all of this for you well in advance of you even making an announcement, and that the rival apple merchant also took very similar, if not identical steps.

Edit: Oh, and don't forget that selling apples isn't actually the business you and your rival apple merchant are in. You're both actually in the juice business and apples are just a means to an end for you.