4d ago

As a..United Statesian...?

Look, I know how this is going to come off, but this has been inside me for a while and I just want to get it off my chest.

To preface, yes, I know, boo hoo for me I get to live in the imperial core and not starve and live in a home rather than a shack or be completely homeless. My point isn't to pretend that I'm the saddest sob story to exist.

Anyway, I just feel like I'm just...idk, a villain? That's not the right word for it. But when people talk about the labor aristocracy and such, I get it. I get that I and others have better lives than the global south specifically because of their exploitation. But at the same time I don't feel as privileged as online discourse would have me believe. I mean, I'm certainly more privileged than barefoot malnourished miners in the DRC, but it's still hard. My entire family works and are proles in some form, even my semi-retired grandma. My entire upbringing has been focussed on making do with what we have. I have trauma from my mom getting fired. My health is poor, and I havent been able to see a dentist or doctor in years. And what we do have we try to give away. We housed another family when they were about to be homeless.

And again, I can't say this enough, I know I'm not the most oppressed person. I know there are more important topics and such.

It's just that, I can't be happy about this getting worse. Obviously I want the empire to fall, and that entails things getting worse. But I'm not happy about that being the reality. And I'm certainly not "Bourgeois-ified" or whatever.

I guess my point is, I just feel overwhelmed sometimes. Materially I'm squeezed by poverty and overwork, and psychologically I'm constantly reminded that I have it good, somehow, and yet that i don't deserve to have it good. That everyone hates me, and they're probably right to do so.

I don't know, I'm going to bed, I just don't wanna wake up

5 comments

What? No. Comrad, of course you deserve to have it good! You're not a villain. The idea of labor aristocracy is about people allied to imperialist interests. People with privileges are free to reject them. Depression or other issues can lie to you and skew your self image but remember you still deserve to be happy.
What you are feeling is guilt, and you should only feel that if you are a willing conspirator in the shit. You are not guilty for existing as a prole, you have the world to gain from taking the wealth in your nation and redistributing it. Focus on the goal, we don't need guilty mopers we need focused communists.
Friend, I don't know where you're getting the idea that you are experiencing more comfort than you deserve, when you aren't able to get basic medical care. You and your family are not the problem here, nor even all of the people like you collectively, but the system as a whole, one you didn't choose and obviously don't support.
Yes, things are going to get worse here in the US. No way around that at this point, unfortunately. The next few years in particular are going to be ugly. But to the extent that you and yours suffer because of that, it is undeserved; you do not need to atone or balance some cosmic scale of economic justice somehow.
As communists it is not our goal to castigate people for their privilege, nor to murder everyone on the wrong side of some mysterious dividing line between proletariat and petit bourgeois. Our goal is to reorient the relations between the people and the means of production, to focus the economy on improving the human condition, and more broadly, to prove that a better world is possible by building it. There is no requisite amount of self-flagellation necessary to call yourself a leftist, you have only to work to advance the cause in whatever ways are within your ability given your material circumstances (including time pressures and mental health challenges).
In short, give yourself a break; you haven't done anything wrong.
You are part of the oppressed. The oppression you feel is different than people in other nations but that doesn't make it any less valid. The alienation and stress of life in the imperial core can't be directly compared with food insecurity and lower life expectancy but don't let that convince you that you are not oppressed.
Labor aristocracy is a thing but it is a mindset more than it is based on material advantage at this point. Labor aristocrats support empire because they think it benefits them. If you can see through that lie you aren't a labor aristocrat. (it was much harder to see through that lie a when a family could live on a single paycheck and pay off a mortgage in 10 years)
Don't feel guilty. Being worried that you will materially suffer under the boot of capitalists even more because others are maintaining their freedom is not selfish.
No point in guilt. Being a labor aristocrat gives you more time and resources for building communism. All revolutionary movements had to use class traitors, and labor aristocrats are more aligned with interests of proletariat than bourgeoisie.