3w ago

The Atlantic - Brace Yourself for Watery Mayo and Spiky Ice Cream. MAHA is coming for emulsifiers.

archive.ph

A continuation of their "treat enjoyment as liberal shibboleth" series

21 comments

emulsifiers bad
fluoride bad
vaccines bad
asbestos good actually
- They made the twin towers out of the stuff, big buildings, strong buildings, perhaps too strong? I don't know, some people say that, not me. We need to bring asbestos back and in a big way folks, your kids can't get enough of the stuff, oh school kids come up to me all the time "oh, oh, Mr. President, please build the new school out of asbestos!" and I will, watch me.
- If asbestos is bad, then why does it have “best” in the name?
  
  Asworstos
Saccharomyces cerevisiae consuming sugars: Amazing, remove any guidance on restriction of that.
Xanthomonas campestris consuming sugars: Woke, possibly also gay.
spiky ice cream
- You're laughing? They're arming Antifa with spiky milkshakes and you're laughing?
They can take my soy lecithin from my cold dead hands
We're living in the slow moving apocalypse and we can't even have treats.
That is 100% the cocaine talking in my opinion.
They can take my xanthum gum from my cold dead hands
God damn it, I've just gotten good at making my own sauces too 😠
If they come for xanthan gum my gluten free cookbooks are as good as firestarter
why can't they be coming for corn syrup or meat or food megacorps
"Emulsifiers?! Fuck me! Do you want to be eMuLsEd? Didn't think so. Now, fertilizers; pesticides-let's load up on those. Who doesn't want to be fertile and pest-free?"
Mayonnaise doesn't need an emulsifier. It's literally an emulsion of oil and water.
- Traditionally, (Dijon) mustard is used as an emulsifier. Having whisked mayonnaise by hand before, the mustard is key.
  
  You're telling me there's food in my food?
  
  Interesting. I make mayo regularly, but didn't realize the mustard has a function. The recipe I use calls for dry mustard, but I usually use a prepared mustard like Dijon instead.
Imagine Hank Hill saying "wha-tery may-yonnaise" its pretty funny
- Wah-tree

21 comments