There's a noticable influx of trans kids in my job. Are there any topics I should avoid or considerations I should take into account when training them?

Just start saying 'they' for everyone that's work related. No matter on LGBT status.
Makes it easier to not fuck up.

I already do this with because of how many people I know and work with that have names not exclusively used by men or women.
- I work with enough foreigners that I almost HAVE to do this since I rarely see them face to face and have no real indicators aside from their name. If your name is 20 characters long and 18 of them are consonants, I'm gonna use "they" at work, just to avoid any undue offense. So far, if someone had a problem with me it was because of my employer, not my own words or behavior.
- People are seriously downvoting this?? Hot dayum lemmy really is growing!
It’s a good place to start. Sometimes a trans person wants gendered pronouns. But it’s better to use something neutral than to use the wrong one. I have always found that if you use the actual right pronouns, even once, it shows you are trying and that is appreciated forever.
I assume op is English speaking, but just fyi this doesn't work in every language, would make things a lot simpler.
This they gets it.
- you'd use something like "person" to replace "guy" since "guy" is not a pronoun like he/she/they.
Use they, unless you know their pronouns. Unfortunately, a lot of people use "they" because they don't want to use the correct pronouns and it seems more innocent than just overtly misgendering someone.
I work with an enby and we use they/them. It often confuses people because sometimes we say a sentence then sub he/her for they and there isnt enough context for anyone to know who were talking about. I can't imagine how strange it would be to only use they/them. Race and gender are our go to descriptors you'd get used to it pretty quick tho
þey
So misgender 95-99% of people? Okay then.
As a trans person, no, do not do this. This is known as degendering people. It shows a total disregard for putting forth any effort to understand or respect others. We always know when people do this because it is still misgendering when you know their pronouns are not they/them.
While using they/them pronouns for all queer people or using a person’s name instead of a pronoun might feel easier for certain people, this is also a form of misgendering called “degendering.”
https://lgbtq.ucsf.edu/pronouns-101
It feels gross, it's not a viable solution.
- If you’re going to take people’s honest attempts at being polite as an attack, you’re going to have a bad life.

Probably wouldn't be a bad idea to do something along the lines of stating upfront that "if anyone in the company does anything to offend you, please report it to the appropriate channels. You'll have our full support. We're here to get work done, not to make people feel bad"

You're not likely going to say by accident something they haven't heard before, or to offend them in a new and novel way, But establishing and occasionally reinforcing the fact that they don't have to tolerate it, that putting up with abuse is not part of their job, and that they have the boss's backing at the same level of the non-LGBTQ employees should they find themselves being abused or offended, would probably go a decent way in minimizing the risk of something actually bad happening.

"... and if I accidentally say or do something offensive, tell me and I'll try to learn better."
- This whole thread is very good
please report it to the appropriate channels
Telling them that you personally will be there for them is really the only guarantee you can make without blindly relying on third parties to act with compassion. So telling them to come to you so that you can then together go through the rest of the process is imo the better idea. They can always choose to just ignore you, but making them go to some shitty HR office by themselves also sucks.
- Yeah, I’d only encourage reporting if I knew 100% beyond a shadow of a doubt that the person who would be taking the report is also an ally. And even then, I’d still hesitate to encourage it.
  My workplace is… Interesting. I work in an arts department for an employer which doesn’t do a lot of art otherwise. Each department is managed by a specific person in HR. My department happens to be managed by a raging transphobe. We also happen to have the highest amount of trans people per capita than any other department… Because, ya know, art.
  Our HR person requires that they use their deadname for all of their work stuff. Their work email uses the initials for their deadname. Their Windows username uses their deadname. Their RFID ID badge and name tag both use their deadname. Et cetera… She claims it is company policy to require official government names on everything.
  Except it’s not. That policy doesn’t exist. It’s just something she makes up every time a trans person gets hired. There’s even someone in HR who uses a chosen name for all of their work stuff. They literally share an office. Our hiring manager has tried to go through or around this one specific transphobe multiple times, but gets bounced back to her every single time. Because apparently the “your department has a specific HR person” is a rule that is enforced throughout all of HR, but the deadname thing is only enforced by our specific HR person.
  The hiring manager does what he can to insulate them from it, but there are certain things he can’t control. For instance, he orders them new custom name tags, so they don’t have to walk around with their deadname stuck to their shirt. But he can’t order new RFID ID badges, because those are printed by our IT department, and they use whatever name is in the system. He can’t change their windows username, or their work email address. To put things into perspective, our department is over 25% trans or nonbinary. That’s over 5x higher than any other department…
  And what are those trans employees going to do? Go to HR to report it? As cops are fond of saying: “We have investigated ourselves and found no wrongdoing.”
You’re not likely going to say by accident something they haven’t heard before, or to offend them in a new and novel way
Not OP, but you underestimate my foot in mouth capacity.
20 years ago, my sister was dating a jock. Real body builder type. Probably a bigger musclehead than most pro-wrestlers.
What I was trying to convay is that we should make a superhero costume for him to wear, and make a comic book out of it.
What was percieved instead is that he should run around town and suck everybodys nuts in his mouth for their approval.
I DARE you to try to connect how that came out so wrongly worded.
- You can't just leave us hanging like that, how did you word it?
Well maybe only say this if it's true

You're not a dick for getting someone's pronouns wrong... You're a dick if you intentionally and continuously misgender them on purpose.

I still mess up my sister's spouse. They're NB, but kept their name, hobbies, etc. To me, they're the exact same awesome person they've always been, so I still screw up and call them by male pronouns.
I 100% support them, but I screw up and it feels bad.
Well, I have had two people tell me very rudely that I'm an asshole because I got their pronoun wrong because they had it at the start of the presentation somewhere. And I also have had dozens more who corrected me politely a couple of times and then I'd just remember the right pronouns.
Assholes are assholes magrinalized or not.
Exactly. Sure it sucks when it happens by accident, but it's to be expected to some extent. It's when someone is doing it intentionally to fuck with you that it really gets under your skin. It's disrespectful.

Im trans with over 10 years of experience in the industry

--

There's really not a lot to it. We just want a basic level of respect and empathy. Respect their chosen names and pronouns, and don't ask them random questions about being trans unless they're open to it. Trust them when/if they talk about their experiences, they know more about themselves than you do. Reassure them that their job is a safe space.

Happy to answer any questions.

Edit: if you slip up on name/pronouns, simply apologize, correct yourself, and move on. We know people aren't always trying to be malicious. Hell, my dad still slips up on my pronouns.

Im trans with over 10 years of experience in the industry
The... trans industry? How much does it pay?

Treat them like anyone else by default and make accommodations if you need to and it's reasonable.

You're asking with good intentions, but the best answer for any group will always be that. Shit, not even by groups. On a human by human basis just do that, there's a crazy amount of human variation and it's not always obvious.

First of all, good for you for asking the question. I think many people are afraid to ask these things even if they want to be respectful and inclusive for fear of coming off as backward or ignorant, but I think asking questions in good faith shows that we're willing to listen and learn.

But most importantly, just treat them with the same respect you'd treat anyone else! Gender identity isn't really that big of a deal, and after you get to know some trans folks you'll come to that realization quickly that they're just regular people!

If you call somebody by their name, you can never mess up their gender.

Ok Alex, Shelby, Erin. Unless you mean like if you ignore the entire concept and rely solely on their name with no formalities.
- I think they meant to just avoid using pronouns.

As a trans woman who routinely has to deal with "shop talk" my advice is that since theyre young explain the way that it works to them and let them know how to speak up when shit gets uncomfortable.

Cleaning it up and getting professional and polite would theoretically be great, but the fact is that their career will involve this and if everyone has to clean up their language resentment will build and people will just exclude them. Meanwhile everyone should feel comfortable saying "too far" or "hey you're hitting a sore spot" or even "not cool".

This is really truly the best advice.
I am a straight male. But by definition I'm gender fluid. I have endured through my life no end of abuse for this, and it's nothing close to what my trans partners in the past have experienced.
But in the end, it comes down to having a spine and being able to assert yourself.
Especially in trades, there is no end of ball-breaking and risque dialogue. If you are not able to defend yourself or say okay dude the joking has gone far enough, you are not going to have a happy life and you need to find something else to do to make money.
If we live in the online reality where "ideal" behavior is constantly advocated and expected, we are never going to connect to the truth of life which is that bullshit is everywhere and we have to learn to stand up to it and flow with it.

This is not a comprehensive list, but you should probably avoid talking about your sex life.

good advice for any workplace
- But I'm a hooker
- Yes.
But how can I impress people with my competitive qualities? I had fourteen sex last night, and before that I did four sets of three sex at a time.
I'm even the speedruns any% TAS WR holder at 3.19 seconds.
Do my colleagues not need to know about this???
- You can mention it by asking about office etiquette on Lemmy.
oh hi mark

Honestly, just tell them to let you know, in private if they feel it necessary, if you make them uncomfortable. In general, jokes about people being trans/gendernonconforming are ok, as long as it's not the one "joke" -- identifying as an attack helicopter/dragon/ridiculous things. Pretty much just don't make fun of them for being trans, but it's fine finding humor about their transition, if it makes sense. It's generally pretty easy to tell when someone has a problem with you being trans and is going to be a dick to you under the veil of humor, and when someone is joking around with you. Just make sure they know to let you know if you make them uncomfortable, and tey not to be a dick. The fact that you're asking makes me think pretty much anything you'd consider saying is forgivable at worst.

Edit: I kinda fixated on the joke part, mostly because everything else is pretty simple. If you mess up pronouns or anything like that, don't make a big deal out of it, just correct yourself and move on. They're just another person

I want to live in the timeline where a super-scientist gets sick of the attack helicopter meme and makes "attack helicopter reassignment surgery" possible and available.
- There was a short story written along those lines, but folks assumed it was a joke/troll and bullied the person off the internet.
- If one of my besties thought they could live their best life as a helicopter I would absolutely support them.

Well, one thing I know is: make sure you don't out them. If a kid has transphobic parents, you really don't want to accidentally inform them their kid is trans.

I mean I just stay out of peoples personal lives as a principal
- Great start. It also goes for work. Even if they're open about it, just don't allow comment on it at all at work. People quite often say "so there's a lad working on X team and he's trans but you'd never know" or needlessly say "oh yeah Katie, she's trans". Shut that down RUTHLESSLY around you unless the trans person says not to

Hey, Non-binary trans masc person in trades here.

I can tell you how I perceive different types of co-worker if it helps you want to dial in what it's like on the other side of the experience. There's layers to the whole situation and as non-binary folks we understand what we are asking for isn't automatically going to click and requires people to figure us out.

First up : Most of us end of day aren't going to rock the boat for anything less than fully agregious behaviour so calls to report other people for being mildly offensive are probably not actually going to go anywhere. Most of us are scared of being labelled "a problem" so we just take the hits when they come. If you are a boss and notice a non-binary person sticking closer to specific people and avoiding others there's a good chance that they've found the people who are safe and avoiding ones who aren't. A great accommodation that can invisibly help is just to recognize this strata and if a task nessesitates putting people together try and pair along these lines. A lot of co-workers wait until other people aren't around to let their nastier behaviour shine.

Now to co-worker types. Aside from the full on transphobe or problem persons there's a range of different stages of cool people.

The "I don't really get it" Co-worker pays lip service to the polite aspects of using pronouns. They are the type to introduce you to others by misgendering you and then flap their hands and go "Oh no sorry 'they'". We know they don't get it or don't really care. The misgendering still hurts but they are fairly benign. They make these accidents non maliciously and are afforded grace. If they step in it we basically disregard because they aren't really worth the effort of getting too comfortable around. We make these accommodations for strangers daily. Annoying but nessisary.

The "in training" co-worker is one whom is encountering their very first trans person. They want you to be their Obi wan and their enthusiasm is a bit of a double edged sword at times. It's tiring to teach people to dance when they keep stepping on your feet but the job needs doing. Some of us veiw this as our own brand of service to the cause of normalizing ourselves more widely. Some of us just don't want to be bothered. Either way, just wanting to learn is heaps better than ambivalence. If you fuck up something, don't make a big deal about it. It's not that you're a terrible person and should have known better. Our stuff takes practice and we know it's not intuitive.

The "A little too up in our shit" co-worker is excited to know the real you but looks at you as a beautiful creature in need of preservation. They might seek to advocate on your behalf or behind your back but the attempt is clumsy and often at odds with a non-binary person's desire to just get through the workday as a regular human and not make waves. Good enthusiasm sure, we're probably friends but for the love of God we're adults and we can sort out our own shit if need be.

The "Understands the Assignment" co-worker is just comfortable to be around. They don't have to be the most tuned in to all the nuance about our specific needs in ways we require more out of partners, family and friends but they treat our basic requirements as no big deal, maybe they occasionally ask questions to check in if they catch us struggling or reacting but aren't going to narc to the boss on our behalf. They either avoid all stereotypes associated with sex or in the case of trans mascs/trans femmes they treat us like one of the boys/girls. Gold standard.

If you wanna go the extra mile, skimming an ally guide for 10 minutes, looking up some terminology and concepts, would reduce awkwardness by a fair bit. I certainly would have avoided a half dozen missteps if I did some reading.

This is super helpful, thank you!

I’m trans, and have also worked with trans kids. Sometimes outed myself when it was safe - showing young trans men that yes, you can be a man.

It really comes down to “what name and pronouns would you me to call you by?”

If you want to go above and beyond: “would you like me to correct/step in for you if someone calls you by the wrong names/pronouns?” I feel this is a place where adult advocates can have good impact.

“Does your family know/should I use your legal name when talking to your family?”

See the child as a person who deserves dignity and respect, who is in a vulnerable position and does need unconditional support. Which is true for all children. You don’t have to put up a progress flag or wear a rainbow pin - these can certainly be very good things to do - but at the end of the day, just honor the child.

Good on ya for making an effort and being open to learning. I would buy you a beer if I could.

I'd be fine with you buying me a beer in their place.
- Meet me at the bar this evening. If you show up, I'll buy you a round.

I'm trans. To me the most important thing about jokes in the workplace is when a cis person says something that I can twist into being a deadpan trans joke (of varying riskiness depending on the group). Either the cis person will softlock while trying to determine the ethics of laughing or they'll go for it and potentially apologize. It's always a win in my book though

Just be yourself & be open. There'll always be troublemakers on all sides

Respect them for who they are, and listen to them if they tell you you're fucking it up, just like you would with anyone else. It's almost as if trans people are just people. ;)

Your job is to train them. They're people. You're a person. Just go with that

I think if you love as a person them you'll be good.

That's what I do and it's worked out pretty great!

Im curious what could come off as a joke to you but would offend a trans person but not offend other (similarly aged) people.

If your joke might be offensive to anyone, its probably best to save it for outside of the workplace if you share it at all.

Not saying dont make any jokes, just that your jokes shouldn't be referencing someones gender or appearance or at the expense of someone else in general.

Its impossible to know if your joke might be offensive to others when you live different lifestyles.
It's like telling people not to serve food that might be prohibited by the religion of one of their dinner guests when they have never interacted with the religion before.
What OP does here is trying to educate himself, which is the right move, in my opinion.
I get where you’re coming from, and we’ve all seen bad faith “advice” seeking (sea lioning), but also most of us have interacted with people who are well-meaning yet know they have tons of learned behaviors they’ve never needed to question.
For example, a friend had a boss in a male-dominated industry (construction) who, at the end of a client lunch with several cis men, bid them farewell with “bye ladies.” When they were back in the car she called him out on it “is ‘ladies’ supposed to imply something?” and he immediately admitted “dammit I know. I’m sorry.”
She knew he knew as he said it that it wasn’t the right thing and just hadn’t considered it before, but it took situations like that to make him consider it in advance. And it sounds like he did. She said he began to make eye contact to check his wording in meetings, which she took to indicate it being present in his mind, that he was actually trying.
I’m just saying asking and trying to consider little things in advance is ally behavior and should be encouraged unless it’s obviously in bad faith.
- I didnt think the poster was in bad faith, i was just genuinely curious as im not really around environments like that these days so i kind of assumed it would be something sexist or creepy.
If your joke might be offensive to anyone, its probably best to save it for outside of the workplace if you share it at all.
That's not good advice. Any joke can be offensive to someone - especially when people are committed to being offended.

I can't speak for trans people, but i would expect that the best course of action is to be yourself and dont mock anyone. You can rib and have a laugh, but dont open with a whole script of trans jokes. Get to k ow them, like you would with anyone and learn the boundaries naturally. If you think of them as different, you will be on edge the whole time and are more likely to mess up.

If you make any mistakes, just be sure to apologise, and i am sure any of them would understand. Ultimately, as far as i understand it, trans people just want to be accepted and allowed to be them selves and be a part of society. The only way that happens is if we dont treat them differently, whether thans positively or negatively.

If you struggle with pronouns, apologize casually when the pronouns come up.

As a fellow old, the kids don't seem to necessarily get it that my brain is wired pretty hard not to change pronouns, but they do seem to appreciate the effort and the discussion that it's a challenge rather than just fucking it up with no explanation.

Otherwise, be mindful that they take a lot of shit for parts of themselves that are background attributes for the rest of us. They can get pretty tired of it. A friendly person who regards them as just people may be the best thing they can get from anyone.

Generally, keep humor work related, and it'll be fine no matter who it is. Well, there's always that asshole that thinks you have to be a robot at work, but with that sort, it doesn't matter anyway.

Beyond that, either stay neutral with pronouns, or use those that a person introduces.

I promise you, just those two things are going to go a long way in establishing respect and camaraderie.

Humor is the big one. I would start thinking about the jokes that co-workers make, and if everybody would think they're funny. Not just trans folks, but any kind of joke that has a butt of the joke or a stereotype might be good to start getting away from.
- Agreed completely :)

It's minor but I probably wouldn't say supposed to have sounds like they are wrong
- Your comment highlights one of the difficulties I find with going between treating someone exactly as you would anyone else, while also dealing with particular sensitivities or sensibilities of that person. Even trying to describe how to be less offensive, includes wording that can sound offensive to some, justifiably so based on experience.
  But all in all, I think most people will recognize good faith efforts and accept quick apologies and corrections when we make mistakes. We're not perfect.

Since there already are a lot of good answers, do it like in Full Metal Jacket "I don’t look down on you if you’re x, y, z or something - you’re all equally worthless"

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tHxf17yJsKs&pp=ygUiZHJpbGwgaW5zdHJ1Y3RvciBmdWxsIG1ldGFsIGphY2tldA%3D%3D

Full metal jacket is a fantastic movie, but not really an example of inclusivity. A later line goes:
"Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy, and you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?
Sir, no, sir!
Are you a peter puffer?
Sir, no, sir!
I bet you're the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you!"
- https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DgpTHwrH7bA&pp=ygUdRnVsbCBtZXRhbCBqYWNrZXQgc3RlZXIgcXVlZXI%3D
  I don’t know man, that last line feels like an insult tailored specifically to harass a gay person in the way that they specifically are an asshole.
- Honestly I'm just glad people are calling out selfish lovers ffs

Just treat them with respect like anyone else. There are 3 topics to avoid in any work place for anyone: religion, politics, and sex life. That's just a good general rule for all forced mixed company situations.

Avoiding politics might be wise on some level, but by all means do talk about unionizing.

I'd avoid any and all controversial topics and just keep things purely professional.

Used to be I'd engage with someone based on their physical presentation, but even that is a bit tricky anymore, and with social media blowing up even the most minor misunderstandings, it's best to just keep it professional.

Maybe "engaging with someone's physical presentation" was just always a bad idea and you've just recently realized that.
Treating people with kindness and respect mostly works out fine.
How many trans people do you know? Has a trans person gotten mad at you for something?
Charitably, it seems like people who have never met trans people seem to think they're balls of tinder, waiting to explode at any imagined slight. There is a lot of misinformation and propaganda out there and trans people are a punching bag.
Yes, words change a lot, and maybe someone might ask you to use a different word. That's not an attack on you.
Yeah, you might meet someone on a bad day or there could be a misunderstanding, but, in general, treating people with kindness and respect works out pretty well.
- treating people with kindness and respect
  That's what I said. Be courteous.

Pick the one that's been working there longest and ask them these questions. Check in they feel ok with how the workplace is trucking

Treat them like any other person. Their gender/identity should have absolutely zero impact on the ability to do their job. So you don't even need to ask this question. If you feel like you're walking on eggshells and scared of bringing up an offensive topic, then that's an issue with you, not with them. There's nothing that you say that should be offending them since it's absolutely irrelevant to work.

Regardless of who your coworkers are, topics like gender identity or politics should NEVER be discussed in the workplace. If you simply avoid engaging in those types of topics then you will be safe. Talking about those things at work is an absolute horrendous idea, regardless of who the coworkers are. Those convos don't belong in the workplace.

I think some politics is healthy to talk about in certain work situations. Definitely not the red vs blue tribal nonsense, but discussing and understanding material conditions
- The only politics that should be discussed at work are policies that directly impact the business. For example, my company has many conversations and meetings around impacts from Trump's tariffs. No one gives an opinion on what their politics are. Not a single one. We discuss the impact on the business and how we can mitigate them. It ends there.
When someone starts complaining about what bathroom everyone is using, you can't just ignore it and hope it goes away. It's your job as their superior to address these issues.
Similarly,
Their gender/identity should have absolutely zero impact on the ability to do their job.
Making this stance clear requires talking about gender identity and politics.
- I think you're talking about a completely different situation. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't talk politics at work. You're talking about someone creating a disturbance and making people uncomfortable. Obviously the company would want to take care of that. That's a completely different situation.
  I don't understand your second point about having a conversation about gender identity. What do you mean? I don't see how that applies to my reply.

Well, I think it's of upmost importance to hire a private security firm to guard the bathrooms. Anyone entering or exiting those bathrooms will now be required to submit to a genital confirmation. We'll have tighter security on those bathrooms than TSA guarding the airports from unauthorized water bottles, and 2 inch pocket knifes.

Because as we all know, urinating into a toilet, surrounded by makeshift stall walls, can be the most offensive thing in the world if you don't share the same set of genitals as everyone else in the world! Especially since those stslls intentionally leave a gap, so we can spy on others as their peeing. That's how important these genitals in bathrooms are! Gotta follow all the correct protocol for emptying your bladder!

I say all this to say that yesterday I peed on a tree outside, and nobody gives a shit.

As for your coworkers? Just make a concentrated effort to remember what they prefer as their gender so you don't say "she" instead of "he".

The only one that confuses me is "they", but it's still refering to just one person. Luckily I don't know anyone like that, because that one I'm sure I'd constantly accidently fuck up.

The only one that confuses me is “they”, but it’s still refering to just one person. Luckily I don’t know anyone like that, because that one I’m sure I’d constantly accidently fuck up.
I ran into a person a long time ago on Lemmy that asked that people use 'it/its' as pronouns. Even for second person- so not they/them/you/yours, it/its. Absolutely broke my brain.
- I saw that once on fetlife, but I assumed that was a sex thing. The whole profile was based around this guy being degraded, and humiliated, but he kept refering to himself in the 3rd person as "it".
  I didn't realize that was another gender identity. I just thought it was a fetish thing.

Yeah... since you are asking, try not to do anything. They're people. They like jokes too.

Of course, all advise given in this thread is valuable, but I mean being overcautious may be the "special treatment" that is there routinely reminding them "oh you're different". They don't need that. Just respect.

Trans people are weird, but so is everyone else.

Ehhhhhh, I get what you're trying to say, but also, yikes?
- I mean I was trying to be cute there, but I genuinely think that this it the way to proper respect and non-bigotry in the workplace. You have lots of oddball people in every workplace of more than 3 people, and you're supposed to function with all of them. Trans is just one more. And of course it's all subjective, so the people you might think are perfectly normal are completely bizarre to some other people and vice versa. And you have to navigate around that too.

Yeah keep all your jokes to yourself. Keep it business

"Just stop having fun at work"
Great advice there.
- Yeah pretty much if you're worried about jokes offending people's sexuality. Why the hell is that part of your repertoire.
  So that is the safe bet for this particular person.
- /s

Call me whatever you want at this point, but if it comes down to "A [type of person] has shown up at my job, what topics should I avoid?" it's time to start updating the resume.

Reactions like this do nothing to further anything. Pointing at a post where someone acknowledges their lack of understanding and ignorance, a post where someone is trying to be more open and accepting, and telling them that they are the problem and should give up is as close minded and bigoted as the person you're making OP out to be
Someone that lacks empathy?
- Things I am likely to say to my team at work:
  "I emailed you an STL. Please print two of them, and be ready to print 18 more if the customer approves."
  "Put on your safety glasses."
  "The lathe's coolant pump is not working, I think it may be the contactor. Take a look at it when you first clock in tomorrow and let me know what parts we need if any; I'm going to need it up and running by Thursday."
  "Safety glasses go on the front of your head, not the top."
  "SomeCo has our steel order ready, take the company truck and pick it up. Make sure to get a copy of the P.O."
  "Put. On. Your safety glasses."
  "How's it coming on those base plates? Can we get started on the brackets yet or are we still waiting?"
  "If you get vitreous humor on my drill press, you're the one that's gonna clean it up."
  If you can't handle being spoken to in this manner, you are not going to last long on my team.

"I'm not sure I understand, but am willing to have an open mind and listen and understand where you're coming from. If you'll have patience to explain to me, I'd be willing to learn with humility and humanity and do my best to be a better person"

Admit ignorance, commit to being a good person. It's not that hard.

What’s with the unwarranted condescension?
- It's not condescension. That's quite literally the point. So many people just refuse to be or have never learned to be humble. This is literally a great cooperative and constructive stance to take. You don't have to be tough, you aren't showing off to anybody - you're asking somebody for help understanding them. If that's really a problem, then you need to reassess how you navigate the world with others and why. If you genuinely do this for some trans kid, they'll love you and be more than willing to help you understand because basically nobody ever cares about them or their experiences. You'd make their year (shit. If you do this for anybody and you'll make them happy). But don't do it just to do it, actually embody this humility. It'll be weird at first, but you might even make a friend.
  If your first reaction is to be offended by advice, maybe you shouldn't be in leadership.
There. Was that at hard?
It's apparently easier than you not being a jackass, at least.
- Edited. My intent is not to be a jackass, but to point out that SO many people use any excuse to not just bridge the gap and try to understand other people.
  To be perfectly clear, though, I've been explaining this to people for years, and I'm absolutely sick and tired of the same old excuses and pushback. So I apologize if some of that unfairly came out here to people who are new to this and may be undeserving of that specific criticism.
No one talks like this
- Do you mean no one talks like this in your industry or company? You could always be a vanguard and set the tone. Also you don't have to say exactly that, word for word. My point is to just level with them, admit you don't really know, and then to listen and try to understand their story a bit. Even the notion in dude-speak or whatever will be heard loud and clear and you'll make their day, and everybody will be happier for it.
No you're making it sound like they're going to be a problem right from the start and you're willing to understand
- Is "they" op or the trans kid?
I do not agree with an angry mob downvoting you, but I'll notice this is probably not the context to put this in.
This looks more like a parent figuring out about their kids being trans. In the OP's context, everyone is on an even ground.
Here, it is mostly important to use their preferred names/pronouns and consult on the terms as necessary.