2mo ago

Anon discovers a cheat code

21 comments

straight
This is clearly vitally critical to how we're supposed to interpret the rest of the greentext
- Not shitting your pants is gay
  
  I used to be gay
  
  My gay conversion therapy service is basically just me breaking into your house and taking dump in your laundry basket.
- Or that everyone on the platform assumes otherwise.
Better be fake
- It's the first green text that isn't fake.
  
  It’s probably still gay tho
- Better be gay
Well folks it turns out that being 40 is like shitting your pants
Straight, by the way
If i shit my pants aggressively i would probably pretend to fall over and curl up in pain because if you see someone shit their pants without pain you would think the person is strange but if they are in pain and distress then you would think its something medical thus they wouldnt judge you so much for it. At least this is my theory.
- Imagine doing this in America. A $675 pair of new pants
  
  $675? Damn bro, lemme get on that insurance! That'd be like a $6k pants shit from here
More of a shitcode...
At the beginning of a shift working as a line cook i was bending down to get something from the bottom shelf in the walk in and I tore my pants ass wide open. Like a total blow out that went down to my inner thigh.
Problem was that since working in a kitchen is so fucking hot, I had taken to working commando every shift. I peeked out the walkin and asked a coworker to get me a 2nd apron. I wrapped it around my ass and took off out the back door, got in my car, and drove down to the goodwill that was fortunately still open.
I grabbed the first pants I found that would fit and went to pay but there was a huge line at the register. I told the person at the register that my pants exploded at work and I needed to pay right now and get back asap. She opened a 2nd register and checked me out.
Anyways that's the story of why I always have pants in my car now.
anon should just get skatole

21 comments