When the pizza party is too expensive, you go with the EncourageMint

Way back before Scott Adams went completely off the deep end I had a tin of Dilbert branded mints called Encourage Mints. This is literally a joke from the hackiest office comic ever yet some manager(s) still thought it was good idea. WTF does business school teach?

OP is a goddamn liar and is trying to spread misinformation. Notice how there are TWO staples but only ONE mint??? Nice try OP, but we all see through your poor facade and know you're actually a two mint-having bitch elitist!

Reminds me of getting a note from HR admonishing me to pick out my 20th work anniversary "gift" from "pages 12 to 16" of the supplied catalogue. I knew nothing of it. They concluded with "or we'll choose for you, i.e. a clock". I got luggage tags. For 20 years of my life. The best years of my life. Luggage tags. FML.

They are not even ashamed of doing this!

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thanks for making us six million here's a lifesaver

Thanks for making our shareholders money! Remember not to call in sick or ask for a raise and that unions take your money with no benefit!

DisappointMINT

DiscourageMINT

Lack of commitMINT to fairly compensating your employees

There's no way this is real - nobody would be that stupid, even in a management role, right?

Every month my boss tells us how big a profit we're making. I think he thinks it's morale building. I'm guessing everyone thinks the same thing I do- "then I should be paid better." My Macbook Air, which I never took anywhere, was dying. I needed a new Mac for work. I suggested a Mac mini. They cost like $500. And I had to literally wait until my Macbook wouldn't stay on for more than 20 minutes for them to pony up the $500. God I hate it. I'm on FMLA right now though, which gives me time to look elsewhere.

I assumed this was a nursing sub until I looked closer. Hospital management only does horrid shit like this for staff.

These “rewards” are awful. My condolences.

If you’re lucky though, maybe you’ll get a small rock with a “You Rock!” printout next time.

You forgot "seething resentmint"

Love that the staple pierces the mint's wrapper, essentially contaminating it and rendering it potentially unsafe to eat. So you don't even get that, lol.

Time to find new employMINT.

I mean it seems outrageously greedy, but stop and think about it: if they'd paid for a pizza party, the banner would've had to read "Thanks for driving sales and beating plan by $5,999,727!!" And that's just ugly.

This is like in the UK when everyone clapped for the NHS workers during the COVID pandemic, including the PM and other government ministers.

But when said workers ask for a pay rise? Fuck off

Pictured: the moment Bob decided it was time to form a fucking union.

I feel this will just breed resentmint

Actually adding the amount of additional money you made them to the card is the cherry on top.

My company gave everyone a 5% bonus just because we beat the forecasted numbers, but idk a mint looks fine too

Here is DisappointMINT

An invitation to burn your place of employmint to the ground.

I kept thinking "surely this was attached to something else and they didn't just give a mint and a few stupid jokes". Then I noticed another one of these stuck to a locker in the background. What pieces of trash. You don't show appreciation by saying "You are appreciated". You show appreciation by compensating your employees for their work.

I broke my back to make a company's CEO $6,000,000 and all I got was this stupid Polo mint

I kind of don’t care what company / industry / whatever this was. If you surpassed sales targets by $6 million dollars, you have some cash for decent gifts. Hell a six pack of beer would be something… don’t print me out a goddamn insult. At the same time, knowing how sales compensation usually works, these folks probably got hella paid, weak gifts aside.

If someone pulls this shit with me. I quit

Suddenly switching to papyrus font at the bottom lol

That is worse than nothing. I got angry just reading this.

Your labor is worth 6 million dollars. How much of that do you get?

For fuck sake, not even a werther's.

Did you roll the Mint into the manager's office with a note "looks like I'm rolling out of here!"

Thanks boss. Have a quit mint.

I got a paper sack with a note like this and a bag of peanuts and a slim jim (one of the small ones, not the big ones).

During university I had a part-time job at a business that sells coachings, seminars and online courses to executives and management. It's disgusting how these people talk and think about their employees.

And it's disgusting what they learned through coachings. It's always about how to distract or guild trip employees who dare to ask for more money or who don't work overtime. They aren't even shy about it.

"And if you work this hard next year, I'll get another Ferrari."

[you] [are] [very] [appreciated] [insert employee name here]

Wow, just wow.

You got a whole brand name lifesaver? Are they hiring? /s

How to radicalize your workforce 101

This karma whoring. If you're in a position to create $6m in revenue without variable comp, I don't know WTF you do for a living. Your deserve a mint.

Oh come on. Obviously you’re very appreciated. Says right there. 😜

Shit like that is when I start keeping notice of good places around the work place to start fucking fires.

(The above comment is not advocating for arson or any other related crimes. It is however advocating for keeping a keen eye out in your work place surroundings, which is sound advice for all.)

Better than the fake money (representing the record profits they had made) they handed out at a previous employer of mine. I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be funny.

Six million in extra sales and they give you a life saver? If you only make the shareholders an extra 5 million do they rob your house to make up the difference?

Good work team let's hope for another 6 million

It looks like they were going to give two mints but thought better of the added expenditure.

Surely this is just a joke. Right?

They couldnt even spring for the other R in arrive. lol

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One of my SOs supervisors actually gave gold stars for good work. These were full grown adults, with children/mortgages/cars and, they thought, professional careers. She had worked there over 30 years when this happened.

Moral was quite affected by this "genius idea"!

I've seen this image before...

..and yet I never noticed that this person is so low to the ground in a file cabinets room, that they must be sitting on the floor.

Don't salespeople make a lot of money on commission if they're involved in selling expensive equipment? Like, even if they have a 1% commission, if they sell a state of the art MRI machine that goes for $3 million that's a good $30,000 from just one client alone. Even without a salary, it only takes a few sales per year to make a living wage.

Ah, this must be Home Depot.

Is there a DevastateMint?

Here's my guess. There was a decent incentive payout, which is why they explicitly mention the +$6m. Some idiot person in HR thought this "mint" play on words would be clever without realizing how it would be exploited. By people like you.

Huh you get a mint?/We get a "good job bro!👍👍"

Honestly if it was something expensive we'd all be complaining about the company wasting money on it. The answer should really be putting money towards what people care about, increasing compensation.