AITA After Wife Made Several Jokes?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/UnAcceptable_Hotel_5 on 2023-07-27 15:25:23+00:00.

TLDR: Found out my daughter wasn't mine. Wife makes jokes, and gossips Don't trust her now and don't want to discuss personal issues with her.

I am on my second marriage and came to this relationship with a daughter. Be have been together 8 years.

Had previously done a 23&Me DNA test as I was adopted, and had always wanted to find the biological fam. Which I did, and that is a whole other story.

My wife, her daughter, and my daughter thought 23&me looked fun and wanted to do it as well. Last Xmas, 23&Me was a present from me to them.

Results. Well my daughters results came back and I was not a relative. Initially I thought there must be some mistake. I asked my wife, what if she really isn't my daughter? Her response was, " that would be hilarious." I was honestly a little taken back, and hurt by that response. I let her know that it was not a funny situation for me, and didn't appreciate it. I thought she understood, and got over it.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and the reality is setting in the she is actually not my biological daughter, and begin trying to figure out who the Father was. I mentioned a possibility that it could have been my best friend at the time. I was again net with a, that would be hilarious comment, or something along those lines. Honestly can't believe this was her response, again. This time I was visibility upset, and left for a bit to cool off.

Then I find out that she was at her daughter's game, sitting with her ex, ( which is fine BTW) telling him about my current issues. Thus time I was really upset. I told her it was not her place to disclose my personal drama with anyone let alone her ex husband. She still sees no issue in what she did. Additionally she has told everyone from her friends and family to her co workers. I understand that this is big news and she probably needed someone to talk to as well. But it seemed to me just to be a gossip fest for her.

This issue greatly reduced my trust in her. To the point I don't really want to talk about anything of importance to her, especially the current paternity issues. She has picked up on this and is mad. "How can we have a healthy relationship when you won't talk to me?" I explained that she has hurt me and broken my trust and I would rather just keep this to myself and work through it. This is now all my fault, and am a poor communicator.

AITA because I don't want to talk about this issue, or any other personal, important issues with her as I don't trust her?