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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

InternetCitizen2 @lemmy.world

4mo ago

John 14:6

Please open your song books to the song of invitation God Bless All The Universe

28 comments

Jesus' mum was this woman, the Virgin Mary, who one night got visited by an angel and told she'd been gotten pregnant by a Holy Ghost. Of course, actual ghosts jizz ectoplasm which only contains ghost sperm, but Jesus wasn't born a phantom, leading experts to believe Mary wasn't impregnated by a real ghost, but by a man in a sheet like in Scooby-Doo.
-Philomena Cunk
- Bibs never said Hose F. checked the hymen. If the merry story was straight, this plot hole would be closed. Old Hosed F. wore a red uniform on TNG
  
  Was this text to speech? Either way, upvoting for old hosed F
- Excellent hyperlink manners!
What are you doing step spirirt
- My tunic hath become lodged in ye ol’ washboard.
- "spirirt"
  What.
  
  It's his voice trembling.
You must feel Jesus enter you.
- I'm so full of the spirit, I think I'm about to burst.
  
  Hey wait a minute, I thought Santa was supposed to to come, not Jesus
- Another soul saved!
And the lord did nut, for it was not November. Amen.
I mean technically Christianity believes God's spirit impregnated Mary.
- And the Holy Spirit told Joseph to hide the evidence away from public view, like a proto-Epstein.
I need to feel you inside me, Jesus
A man 🙏🙏
And the Holy Spirit did come unto the congregation.
I had to replace the bag on my spirit can.
BRUH!
- For real, no one has even clicked the link!!
  
  "sign in to confirm you're not a bot" sorry, I'm a bot
Skeet Jesus!
- Relevant

28 comments