Patch this Bish!

They are forgetting that TERRIBLE design choice where if you accidentally bite the inside of your cheek it swells up making it easier to bite it on accident again and again.
- You're just supposed to bite that bit off. Otherwise it's just going to keep happening.
  
  Instructions unclear, but I can now drink through a straw without opening my mouth
- on accident
  Rather than by purpose? #54%
  
  I'm a masochist but I have my limits. Lol
- There's also the weird decision to put a bunch of easily-bruised bones in your butt which would normally be used for a tail.
  I once had a creationist defend the coccyx as being necessary for keeping muscles together. That was fun.

separated genetalia from waste systems
removed body hair and baldness
fixed acne glitch
added ability to change biological sex, with default neutral configuration
rerouted laryngeal nerve
uterus lining is now reabsorbed automatically
reinforced spine and knees
simplified foot structure
adjusted mental pathways to better adapt to modern environment
- added ability to change biological sex
  PLEASE
- i'm not sure i want to know what the first point would look like, moving either the genitals or the anus sounds horrifying, and i especially don't want to imagine where penis wielders would urinate or ejaculate from if those functions are separated..
  ..perhaps we'd do like octopi, reach under and fetch a sperm package that we present instead of a wedding ring? Or maybe let's just leave it like it is and not create horrors.
  
  Just have us piss from asshole
- I like baldness and body hair! They should be optional too
  
  Smooth on top, rugged in the middle
- Reabsorption of uterine lining is called being "in heat" in dogs and cats. It's quite common in the animal world, and it makes all the males very rapey.
  One of the prevailing theories about why humans pair bond is our males can't tell when our females are ovulating/menstruating so it's advantageous to be kinder and stick around for more sex.
  TL;DR: I think that's not a great idea.
  
  Interesting, didn't know those two things were linked.
- I'd like to be able to alter body hair density based on climate.
- What's the laryngeal nerve and what's wrong with it?
  
  Iirc it goes down your neck, makes a 180 around an artery at the height of the breasts and goes up your neck again.
- Let’s also reroute the ulnar nerve, thx
- Remove hangovers
- For some reason when I read this I read "Reticulating Splines" instead of reinforced spines. I was like wow random sims reference.

-cartilage in joints can regenerate
-body can synthesize its own vitamin c
Other species already do these things smh.
- We used to do the vitamin c but then were like its too easy to get elsewhere why bother.

Eating and breathing pathways no longer intersect. This should prevent the bug when food could block the airway and result in death.
- Yeah, it's crazy to me that people believe we were "intelligently designed" when our food hole and breathing hole are so close that we can only use one at a time, and that our waste dumping grounds are right next to the amusement park.
  
  you mean the slightly more muddy amusment park, that is next to the new, purprose built one, right?
- This is actually a result of changes to our larynx and stuff, which allows us to make such a variety of sounds when speaking. In other animals (and human babies), the air and food tubes are physically separated at rest. But in humans, our epiglottis can't properly keep things separate because our larynx is further down in our throat.
  So, I'm gonna have to deny this request on the grounds that it will necessarily break the speech feature, which many of our users depend on heavily.
- "left user note to pause breathing while swallowing to prevent esophageal trespass when backup breathing interface used for food consumption. No change recommended to emergency breathing access. Closing DOC_UPDATE"
- Wasn't this a compromise that allows speech? Babies can drink and breathe at the same time.
  
  I remember reading humans can still "breathe" amniotic fluid once they get passed the gag reflex. I remember wondering how someone figured that out... Maybe it's just a theory

We need to have some process engineers look at the pregnancy and birthing process, there's much room for improvement. Maybe take a totally new approach to it, it's just not it.
- Just divide at a cellular level, nature has already solved this problem! Upstart life forms these days thinking they can reinvent the wheel.
- Agreed, that shits rough on people. Impacts of teeth and post-partum. Yet a funny thing there is that we can tell you down to the day you were impregnated by the growth of the fetus.
  Next person. Sir drink this stuff to make you shit your brains out and I'm going to shove my finger in your ass to see if we can get a scope of what your insides are like.
- The engineer solution: back to egg laying, which also fixes menstruation

2.0? Bruh, humans are still on pre-v1 beta
Frankly, I don't know how anyone can look at the absolute shit show that is the human body and go "yup, this was totally intelligently designed"
- Apparently a lot of males are still in alpha.
  
  Alpha roll-out for an entire cohort is in-progress.
- ironically we may well have been the only somewhat intelligently designed animal for a long time, since there's a pretty good argument that we're self-domesticated.
  so like, we're not just a prerelease, we're a fucking fork of a prerelease

Humans do bioluminisce, it's just too weak for human eyes and most detectors.
- Thank you, I came here to say the same thing. The problem isn't that we don't glow, it's the fact that our eyes suck.
  
  Also you are a flying squid and not a glowing squid, so its no wonder that we/you don't glow.
  
  Don't we have some of the best eyes in the entire animal kingdom except for birds?
- TIL
  Thanks for the link! This is really awesome.
- A lot of Bioluminiscence, but Infrared light as almost in any living be, which we can't see without special devices.
  Structural weakness not only in the lower back, but also in the knees. The human being still has many reminists of an quadruped, as one of the younger species. He still has a way to be optimized as bipedo. Lower back and knees are still not optimized for this, apart of some other static and organic problems. We are still in phase beta.
  
  A lot of Bioluminiscence, but Infrared light as almost in any living be, which we can't see without special devices.
  It's different from the blackbody radiation that body heat produces.
  Structural weakness not only in the lower back, but also in the knees. The human being still has many reminists of an quadruped, as one of the younger species. He still has a way to be optimized as bipedo. Lower back and knees are still not optimized for this, apart of some other static and organic problems. We are still in phase beta.
  Evolution doesn't follow the rules of intelligent design anyhow. If they did, we would all be crabs.

Well, we do glow in infrared...
- And radio waves!
  
  And when the static electricity randomly ignites a long fart!

Ahem... maybe new players forgot this, but humans have been bioluminescent since the oxygenic respiration patch ages ago.
https://www.sciencealert.com/you-can-t-see-it-but-humans-actually-glow-in-visible-light
- I want to know at what wavelengths. Did I miss it?
  It bugs me that they say 'it's not infrared - it's photons!' (paraphrasing).
  
  Its not clear to me either, but since they said visible, my guesses would be 680 nanometers or 490 nanometers, because, well, hydrogen.

I would have thought eating and breathing from the same hole would have been in this release 😞 guess I'll just have to wait till 3.0
- Wait, you can't eat and breathe through the same hole?
  
  Trouble is, you can't not.
  
  They should be dedicated holes for each process

Suffocation sensation is now tied to a lack of oxygen instead of an abundance of carbon dioxide.
- Would that fix our carbonmonoxide weakness?
  
  It wouldn't make carbon monoxide less poisonous to us, but depending on how sensitive the sensation of suffocation is made it would help us realize something is wrong and maybe even eliminate the need for carbon monoxide detectors.
  Carbon monoxide isn't only dangerous because it's not oxygen, but because it disrupts our blood's normal process of absorbing oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide. My laymen understanding is that it sort of jams the door lol. As opposed to things like nitrogen which merely gets in the way but don't disrupt the process.
  Imagine if instead of getting a headache and feeling sleepy when carbon monoxide was in your body you started to feel like you were holding your breath too long.

Casually forgot about cancer
- That’s going to take some time, it’s a kernel bug.
  
  We'll start storing 3 or 4 copies of data, since 2 doesn't seem to be enough. An off-site backup would also be nice. (this will only apply to new cells because see below)
  Also let's add an option to re-enable telomerase. An option, because WE DO NOT BREAK USERSPACE. Some people probably still rely on "dying" behavior.
- We'll start the carcinisation tree in 3.0.

If teeth regenerate, do we have to constantly chew on things like rodents? Or is it an as-needed thing?
- No, you just get a new set growing in the gums.
- Maybe we could get rows like sharks
- You clip them like nails.
  
  I did not need this mental image in the morning.
- An ass-needed thing?
  
  You don't need teeth to eat ass.
  
  Hold on, baby, let me regenerate my ass eating teeth
  
  I can't believe I need to keep chewing ass to keep my teeth in check!

Add new receptors to be able to feel wetness.
This is it cold or wet thing we have going on is just crappy design.

The mosquito. By far the worst part of the human body!
- Don't body-shame.
  \ (Unless it's part of some shame kink, but otherwise the 'tiny vampiric penis' folk easily takes offence & can swarm you.)
  
  The more we make fun—even pretend to make fun—of small penises, the more toxic the society we help create.
  Especially since all penis sizes are awesome.

add pain snooze button
- Well if we want to get pedantic, adrenaline exists.
  
  And the button is just more pain.
  
  Not great for long-term use in cases of chronic pain though.

I’d like someone to at least look into the whole ADHD thing. It’s been going on for some time now without any word on why it’s there, or what it’s for- and aside from funny and relatable memes, it’s yet to provide any positive results.
- I'd like to add depression and anxiety to fixing ADHD as an individual can exhibit all three.
  This can be split into several patches if necessary.
  
  Absolutely! I just figured that for many, addressing the one will help the others, but yeah… they are their own bugs unto themselves for a lot of people.
- Or, like, at least a caffeine gland or something.

I want my prehensile tail back, not this vestigial piece of SHIT!
- How do you picture it? Like a spider monkey, a fox, or like one of those hippopotamus's who helicopter chops their shit everywhere?
  One sounds useful, one sounds cute, one sounds like your asserting dominance over unexpecting persons waiting in queue
  
  I feel like different races would have different tails based on what's most useful to their environment.

Can we also fix the depression glitch where happiness points aren't collected and your brain energy bar depleats completely with no way of regeneration without hacking the brain with 3rd party tool antidepressants.
- Exercice helps but 3rd party tool are often still needed.
- They just need to eliminate diminishing returns that they introduced back in the beta.

These are the sort of genetic engineering/eugenists I want to see. None of that "deleting gay gene" or "breeding smart people" pseudo science garbage.
- I think life would be a little better if we cranked up the gay gene. Y'all know how to party.
  
  Make everyone pansexual. It would simplify a lot of things.
  
  I thought you had to put something in the water for that?
- All eugenics is pseudoscience garbage.
  
  In that case, let's all marry our cousins and brothers!

Can we rather make the kernel more stable before we change the design? These instabilities cause the whole process to hang itself up or terminate FAR to often!
- or, as I've taken to calling it "hu plus man"
  
  Okay,might be because English is not my first language,but I did not understand that one.
- This needs the confused screaming meme with KERNEL PANIC text, haha
- Yes, too many of the current subprocesses are just straight up cruel (most often directly to the local machine root ~~loser~~ user). It feels like someone wrote it as a placeholder/prototype or a sadistic joke & they just went with it, no revisions.

I'd like to request a bug fix: Eyelashes falling into eyeball. Need to fix the physics so they probably spring away or wash out easier.
- Maybe just not fall out. Let's just add a user creetion set-up like a video game. Choose sex, height, weight, legs arms blah blah blah.
  Some people would spend 3 hours every morning changing their look, others would always look the same. Some people would be swapping mid activities.
  
  If me in computer games that allow character alteration in game is any guide I would be re-speccing myself daily sometimes until I find a look that's right then sticking to that for ages

Also please reroute the food pipe to not use the air pipe

Mosquitos are not humanity though.

Saltwater consumption when????
- It'll be fixed when we starting storing element counts as 64-bit integers (instead of 32-bit).
  
  Oh the old 2038 problem. Got it.
  But we need something v2.0 times as good as that, so like v4072.00 if my calculations are correct.
- I think that's just kidney 2.0 right?

photosynthesis?
- We require too much power for it to suffice alone, but it would be nice to have as a hybrid source of energy!
  
  Someone did the math for photosynthetic cows and they would only get about 1% of their energy requirement. It's not viable.
  
  What about symbiosis with algae
  
  It'd be nice to have one big leaf on my back that I could use for shade and a snack. Doubles as an umbrella for rain.
  
  Old Man's War by Scalzi

Three Panel Soul.
- 3PS is amazing.

A. Add infrared vision to prevent burns.
- And x~gamma ray to prevent nuclear radiation burns.
  And some electromagnetic field sensors to prevent magnets from 'being magic'.
  
  Sorry no on the last one EMF research conclusively shows that magnets ARE magic. smh

Am I weird in that I actually like the hypnic jerk feeling? It doesnt happen often to me, maybe once every few months. I also like bedspins, used to get them every night as a child/teen. though they rarely happen anymore. It was like my own personal rollercoaster ride!

regrow hair cells to mitigate hearing loss
(optional) eternal life and youth
- Eternal life is p2w coming with season pass
- These days it ain't looking like a bunch of us ought to live forever.

You say that now but wait till you’re sleeping in a tree (to escape the dinosaurs) and start to fall and there’s nothing to wake you! Then you’ll be sorry you wished away that “glitch!”
- The difference between your scenario and the glitch is that in the glitch you are in fact not actually falling

I'd like to reengineer the mosquito to draw blood samples, identify viruses, then create and spread vaccinations.

Technically every warm blooded organism is bioluminescent.

Why is this command recursive?
- You don't just want to fix one human, you want to fix all the offspring as well.
  
  Haha. But really what does -R mean?
  Or some posts have a bunch of ,,,.., at the end. What's that?

remove redundant form of hemoglobin
Ah yes let’s make the entire system vulnerable so a single attack vector can shutdown every node.

RGB rules

But feeling like I'm falling when I'm going to sleep is the only time I really feel alive...

Tomāto, tomäto.
Mosquito, Muskuito.
- Mosquito, Moscato

I would absolutely go for 6 fingers. Preferably an additional thumb. Not to mention an additional joint in each. Let's go base 12!
- 6 fingers feature already in development, available to some users in PTR

When are the rest of you going to get the magenta receptor update?

I would like to have modularity. Some parts I may want some not. Lemme pick and choose every other week.
- Modular genitals and secondary sex characteristics, yasss!
  
  Your Cart: 1284,89€, Others also browsed: Fluorescent penis kit CRISPR

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has nightmares of slipping on ice and falling down stairs when I sleep. The kicks I do are annoying.

Overly sarcastic productions is one of my favorite YouTube channels.
Give it a go!

I remember a college conversation with a bio major when I said I wished we could just eliminate mosquitos. She said if there were no mosquitoes it would be disastrous because some other thing eats them that gets eaten by some other thing, I don't remember the details, but essentially it would destroy the whole food chain. I couldn't help thinking that these bugs etc. would probably eat something else because you know, they would be hungry. Just a couple students with a little bit of knowledge thinking they could conclusively analyze the world. And new here we all are on social media doing the same thing.
- I've read a while ago that the only vew spiders who occasionally eat them don't really like them either, because they have low nutritional value. In short, mosquitos are pretty much useless.
  
  Ain't much meat on 'em.
- There's not many* types of mosquito that are a problem for humans. If we wiped out the dangerous ones, there would still be plenty of mozzy to go around
  *I feel like it's either 1 or 3