8mo ago

Overly Confident Matt Gaetz Claims He Could Expose Himself to a Tween on Fifth Avenue and He Wouldn't Lose Any Followers

32 comments

Actually, he would earn more followers.
I fucking hate that satire news are now just reporting factual information.
- I hate that America took a good long look at trump as president for 4 years, took a 4 year break, and THEN said "Yeah, lets get more of THAT!!!"
  In 2020 his followers were so angry that they staged a coup of the government because orange INSISTED there must have been cheating. Knowing full well that there wasn't. Thats how his followers reacted to losing. They refused to accept the results themselfs.
  Now in 2024, I can accept the results. I'm not claiming it was rigged. What I can't handle is that America is this way. It's like being friends with someone who just got out of an abusive relationship.....and just as the bruises started healing, they go right back to the abusive asshole. And you're like "WHYYYYYYYY????? WHY ARE YOU CHOOSING THIS FOR YOURSELF???? YOU'RE DESTROYING YOUR LIFE!!!!"
  
  trump didnt gain voters, Democrats lost voters
  The US is a Boeing 737 MAX
  trump voters is the autopilot that keeps trying to point the nose down
  Democratic voters are the pilots trying to counteract the autopilot's inputs
  Pilots got too tired and let go of the yoke
  Plane is now decending...
  
  Proof you have to present your ideas as fun, uplifting, playful, and not moralist shaming sessions.
  Trump voters didn't look at the past and decide to do it again; they just still felt the same way as they always have. They want to feel good, not disenfranchised.
  That's the problem the left have to resolve. How to make voters feel good, and enfranchised by candidates.
  That's what Trump gives supporters, it's emotional, not rational.
CPAC 2022: "We're all domestic terrorists"
CPAC 2024: "We're all pedophiles"
- "I'll fucking kill your son if he touches my daughter at prom. But I would definitely fuck you daughter."
Whoof, caught me eating the onion, I absolutely believed he'd say that
- Technically if you're in his base that wouldn't make a difference.
  Check mate, the onion!
I didn't even realise this was an onion article
- I'm really, really excited for the new InfoWars.
  
  a judge gave it back to him for now
- Same, I just sighed sadly and was about to move on to the next story.
  I'm tired boss.
Onion or not his base and followers really would not care until he broke into their house and defiled their couch.
Since the day satire died on November 6, 2016 The Onion and all other satire sites switched over to being trusted news sources..
Mister "grab them by the pussy" in the same administration as Mister "expose himself". The US is multitrack drifting 1984 and a Brave New World.
MATT GAET FUCKED
This is the most Pedo administration ever. Epstein would be proud of his closest friend, but unfortunatly, he died while his closest friend was president, sad.
When I was a kid I would watch Saturday Morning Cartoons and I would wish that I lived in that world since at least I would know the good guys are good (and capable) and the bad guys are clearly bad and people generally don't trust them and lose and be humilated time and time again, with no one being stupid enough to believe them.
Now I learned that the only unrealistic thing is that the villains are actually far LESS evil than most of the shitbags in real life AND they not only routinely win, but any action by any would-be hero would be seen as evil and wrong by many of them, and their minions never, ever realize that they're being continually fucked by the villains and keep supporting them to their dying breath well after they've been fucked a million times over.
In short, most bad guys from 80s and 90s cartoons would have had far higher standards of behavior than real life people. Even Cobra Commander, Doc Terror, or The Shredder would admonish them for being too vile and team up with the heroes against them.
Yes I know that the article is a satire, but given the fucked up shit that Matt Gaetz has said and done already I almost took it for real.
He's putting mo in molest.
The emulation of his heroes is pathetic. What a week little boy.

32 comments