10mo ago

Lifeprotip

25 comments

Prison pocket though
I mean, I guess it depends on where he's keeping his phone while nude. He might enjoy a little nude pickpocketing, if he's open minded, and the pickpocket has sufficient lube
- It does leave your flesh pockets awfully exposed
This is why I keep my front door key in my foreskin. Either I evade the pickpocket, or I make a new friend. I cannot lose.
As a younger man, I was able to unlock the door hands-free. These days, I need to fish the key out of my floppy beige KKK hood like a sock trapped in a duvet cover on laundry day.
- I call this comment, the "58008's Wild Ride"
  
  Mr. Skeltal's was worse.
  Edit: I misremembered the meme. It was Mr. Bones. Doot doot.
I keep my keys in my prison pocket. Along with my phone. And my wallet. And my EDC pocket knife. And a Leatherman. And a Moleskin and a couple of pens. And a tactical flashlight. And a small first aid kit.
I do walk a bit funny though.
- Which tactics do you employ with that flashlight?
  
  Strike hard, strike first, show no mercy!
- So, like, which one goes in first? And if you need that, do you have to pull everything else out of your pocket to get to it?
  
  Nah, they go in any order and then you just kind of... rootle around in there.
That's where you're wrong: for nature's pocket can still be picked and it doesn't even need to be full to do so
Bro needs to do some manscaping on his eyebrows for real fam, no cap.
- You're just jealous
- On jah the Rizzler is going to flush this bozo down the skibidi toilet.
…he enjoys it.
Yeah but what about nutkicking, then?
- Simple, just get into cbt
"Hold my bear" I wispered, reaching for my kitchen tongs
Jokes on you, I keep my bills rolled in my foreskin.
keep it in your sunburn

25 comments