Conservatives Explain Why Women Should Have More Babies
Conservatives Explain Why Women Should Have More Babies
As U.S. birth rates hit a record low, right wing pundits are urging Americans to do everything they can to avoid a “baby bust.” The Onion asked conservatives to explain why they believe American women should birth more babies, and this is what they said.
From the Onion
Funniest:
“Once you’ve had one baby, that one needs a friend! Then that next one needs an enemy, which means you’ll need a fourth to be a peacemaker, unless the first one steps up to the task.”
Saddest:
“The more children we have in schools, the greater your chance someone else’s kid will get shot.”
I think the thing thats frustrating about the conservative baby shaming game is that they could probably easily get more people to have kids if they supported social programs that would make it easier. Thinks like universal childcare and student loan debt forgiveness.
And that's on top of the ludicrous cost of living in a lot of the country. But even if you move into a more affordable city you still have the cost of student loans and if both parents work the cost of childcare. And the cost of childcare is insanity. Like ten to twenty THOUSAND dollars extra a year.
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You're expected to save for their college education while paying college tuition when theyre a baby. And then you hear dipsticks going out there wondering why people arent having more kids!
When did the Onion become less absurd than reality..? I'm pretty sure I've heard conservatives literally say some of these, and worse.
All of these aren’t so far-fetched that one of those idiots would have said it.
The mark of good satire is to skirt the line between truth and fiction such that you can't discern which it is at first glance.
Well said.