Why the hell do rockers need subscription services? This should be illegal. A rocker, which has absolutely zero maintenance upkeep from the company, should not be gouging their customers for money to use features they’ve already paid for.

No, I get it. CapITaLiSm. That’s why this is posted here. Yes, the above is rhetorical. It still pisses me off. I don’t typically advocate violence, but the people who made this business decision need to go take a very long walk off a short pier, with cinder blocks chained around their throats.

My apologies. I needed to vent. Carry on.

PS. This thing costs almost $1400 on Amazon, which is boasting a 20% discount, and the inventor Harvey Karp is complaining the company is not making enough money. You know who else is not making enough money right now? The Pitchfork and Torches store. That’s who.
- The Pitchfork and Torches
  
  They don't work without a subscription.
  
  Luckily I'm still on my family's ForkPitch plan. Let me know if you want to sign up for Torchee, I have a referral code
  
  For the torches it's 10€/month plus 5€ per lighting
  
  I might have to take you up on that code. I'm currently on Torchr, and it's... not great.
  
  Now I’m just picturing a mob’s torches and pitchforks going limp in their hands
  
  Don't mine for the Gold Rush, sell the diggers their tools
- I hate how much unusable waste these devices produce.
  
  These things could stay in the secondhand market for years and years, instead they're made unusable and end up in the trash.
- While I agree, it's a smart device, and servers aren't free
  
  Welp... Smart designer wouldn't even have included a server. Bluetooth connection to the crib would have been enough. If it needs an app at all.... Our motorized crib hat buttons you know. You are not gonna operate that thing remotely anyways.
  
  Well how am I gonna rock the crib while I'm at the pub?
  
  Bring it with you
  
  I could see it, depending on the pub.
  
  That baby is gonna be dope as hell
  
  It really isn't unless they changed since we used it 5 years ago. It just had a microphone and went through several levels of rocking based on how much sound mics picked up. It worked whether it was connected or not. Internet was just for notifications. Your baby screaming is usually a pretty clear notification.
  
  Doesn't seem all that smart to me. Does the company offer an API to the device so consumers can write their own "server"? No, I'm sure they have it locked down behind some proprietary encryption scheme so that anyone who tries can be charged with violating the digital millennium copywrite act.
  
  and servers aren’t free
  
  Since when do cribs need a fucking server to rock?
  
  Are you really smart if you need mommy server to function?
  
  I mean, if you're dropping $1800 on a smart crib, you're not very smart.
  
  If you’ve never had a crying baby, you would not understand the lengths to which people are willing to go for some peaceful sleep.
  
  Also, I know mom / friend groups where the Snoo just gets passed around from mom to mom as they have their children and everyone pays in to defray the cost considerably.
  
  Not defending the subscription, but the Snoo not as stupid as you’re making it sound.
  
  What fucking servers do an app and a Bluetooth enabled device need?
  
  This is just bullshit rent seeking, and blaming it on "servers" is just a lazy excuse for the practice.
  
  The thing costs $1400. A very small fraction of that should be able to pay for a lifetime of Tuya or Amazon or whatever IOT cloud they are using.
  
  Assuming they need a server at all (and that's a big if), the computer time needed to handle a crib should be basically nothing. $1 a year would be an exorbitant charge.
  
  These things are usually billed on a per-call basis. Costs can rise pretty dramatically pretty fast. Plus, you need to hire staff to manage the resources.
  
  Sure, you could set up a VPN to your home network and not have to go through their infrastructure, but 99% of consumers won't do that.

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