be me
\ billionaire
\ get flown everywhere by private boeing 747
\ for dinner every night eat polar bear liver and rhinoceros steak
\ only eat a couple bites. Don't want to spoil desert
\ production is up only 145% in my factories
\ start crying
\ wipe tears with million dollar bill
\ cut their healthcare and retirement to make up for lost profits
\ They shoulda worked harder like I did baka
\ get on diesel powered 747
\ fly to climate summit 4828 km away
\ give speech about how paper straws a better
\ Wouldn't you know it? My family owns the sweatshop that makes them

throw 453 592 370 000 kg of plastic into the ocean to celebrate