How many people here actually know any African-Americans?
How many people here actually know any African-Americans?
Not like "I went to school with one" but have had an actual friendship?
I've had a couple of conversations recently where people have confidently said things about the Black community that are ridiculously incorrect. The kind of shit where you can tell they grew up in a very white community and learned about Black history as a college freshman.
Disclaimer: I am white, but I grew up in a Black neighborhood. I was one of 3 white kids in my elementary school lol, including my brother.
Well, not living in America certainly makes it difficult to start friendships with African American people.
But all the black people I know are extremely annoyed at the automatic assumption that their culture is Africa American.
I live in a city immediately adjacent to one of the statistically blackest cities in America. I went to school in said black city for most of my childhood. I work in that city and have lots of black coworkers that I get along with just fine. My take? They’re just people like any other. Some of them are assholes. Some of them beat their wives. Some of them are total nerds. Some of them are the kind and intelligent. Some aren’t. Just like every other skin color. Black people are just people.
And yeah, people assume a lot of shit about them as a group and make idiotic blanket statements. I have some of my own preconceived notions in my head, and when they pop up in my head I remind myself how dumb it is to carry those.
I'm hesitant to answer such an odd question, but let's go for it. Before answering, I think it's important to establish two things. One, I was born and lived the vast majority of my life in the USA, tho I have spent over 2 years collectively outside of the country. Two, I'm white of skin, but ethnically Latino. I'm so white looking, that I can be in a social group of mostly Latinos for 3 months before anyone realizes I'm Latino myself.
My entire life, I've been around Black people. My 2nd friend ever was a Black Panamanian kid. I went to a school in Opa Locka, FL which is practically 99% Black. My high school girlfriend would technically be considered Black, who I saw her as her and if I had to label her race, she'd be "mulata" to me. Btw, "muIato" is not in anyway an insult in Latino culture. If anything, it's a term of endearment. Moving on, I joined the military and worked along side and served under Black people. I currently have several friends and acquaintances that are Black. My neighbor is Blacker than midnight on Broadway and Myrtle. Jk, that's an awesome Mos Def lyric. But seriously, my neighbor's skin is like legit black as in the color, and I'm one of his maybe 3 total non-Black friends (he's exclusive for a reason) and maybe the only white-skinned person that has been inside his house in the past 2 years. I spent this recent New Year's with him and his friends at a party. I was the only non-Black person there. Also, I have teammates in my hobby and acquaintances in the larger social circle that are Black.
This is how I see it...
Black people aren't Black people. They're people. Nothing about them makes them Black. They're just there being themselves. If you ask a little kid if they're Black, they will look at their skin and answer based on their objective perception. As such, Black people vary in every characteristic just like any other set of humans that are grouped by a physical feature.
However, Black are Black people because of history and current state of society. African-Americans are representing a group of people that have a common history, ascribed place in society, and resulting culture. That's what makes them Black: the way they were treated for centuries, the way they are treated now, and the way they endure it. The way I personally understand it in my head, Black people are the expression of a group of humans that have been singled out, used, and treated poorly by the rest of society based on a completely irrelevant physical characteristic that cannot be hidden.
As far as immigrants, Black people that come to the US often find themselves in an odd situation. They don't fit in well with dominant White people because of their skin color, and they don't fit in well with Black people because of their culture. Not all White people are racist, but some are. Some are overtly racist, while others are more covert or even unaware. Being racist is generally understood as an immoral thing, so some racist people learn to hide it. Others that are trying their best to be just, think they aren't racist, but are based on their values and behaviors. What I mean by this is that they may hold values that are incompatible or oppressive of the Black community, yet have absolutely no problem with anyone based solely on their skin color. A supervisor at work may have no issue with anyone's skin color, but rate their employee's performance in part by their use of "proper English" and attire. Due to covert racism, most people of color start to become mistrusting of White people because they don't know who is and who isn't racist at face value. Back to focusing on immigrants, African-Americans think that many immigrant Black people haven't endured life in the US as Black enough to fit in. Immigrants in general come with a different set of values, and in particular, a strong belief that hard work results in economic success. This belief often clashes with the experience of African-Americans. The conflict results in a disconnect between African-Americans and Black immigrants.
I've always been someone that cheers for the underdog. I don't know what it is, but I do. Maybe it's my 'tism, always having felt like an outsider and being bullied, I'm forced to empathize with underdogs. Regardless, to me, Black people are the shit. The way they have adjusted to society has lead them to develop awesome perspectives, skills, and contributions. For example, they were historically given the least favored food, so they learned how to make that delicious which made them amazing cooks. They are marginalized and neglected by society, so they created counter-culture such as blues, rock, hip-hop, and jazz to express injustice, pain, and pride in overcoming hardship. Almost any popular music that has come out of the US has its roots in the African-American community. They are oppressed in the workforce, so they became amazing athletes in which success is extremely objective. It makes no sense to oppress Willy Mays when he's blatantly the one carrying the team.
They have also developed an extraordinary sense of social awareness. Whenever I go somewhere and there aren't any Black people around, I get concerned. Either the place I'm at is actively restricting their participation, or they know something I don't and are choosing to stay away. I could be wrong, but I still notice when it happens.
Additionally, as ethnic outsiders with justified and necessary collective hyper-vigilance, they are aware of what other ethnic groups do differently. So, when they talk about it, I find it interesting because it teases apart what is universally American and what is based on sub-group ethnicity.
They have also developed a sense of community I haven't seen in other ethnic groups. Black people take care of each other, and as long as someone isn't a problem to the group, no one from their group is excluded based on undesirable characteristics (mental issues, substance dependence, criminal history, etc.). They all accept each other and seem to have an understanding that life is hard, so of course people adjust in unhealthy ways sometimes. In fact, my neighbor definitely has his issues, but he still has visitors more days than not. And they always come with some sort of gift. I've luckily fallen into his social circle a little, and they check up on me sometimes too. I have never had this experience with other neighbors.
Something else I've noticed among Black people is that they are more emotionally free and fun. In contrast, White people seem controlled and restricted. It's like White people have a standard for emotional control and respect. It's considered rude to be emotional and wild. Black people don't really follow that. If they feel excited, they will yell. If they have a lot of energy and there's a good beat, they will dance. If they lose someone, they will cry and yell in pain. I'm not saying White people don't do those things, but it's different. Let me illustrate with an example. If someone is dancing at a White party, it's either very good dancing moves that were practiced, or something soft and individual or with one other person. If someone is dancing at a Black party, it's more likely to be extravagant, full of emotion, and collective with a group. Of course, there is overlap, such as rural White people and line dancing, so I'm having difficulty explaining it. I guess my running observational theory is that White people dancing are saying "look at what I can do" and Black people are saying "look at how I feel".
That's it from me. If I insulted anyone or was incorrect, please let me know. My only goal was to express how I saw things and encourage further conversation. I would be happy to receive respectful critique as I know I am not perfect and always looking to continually grow.
I don't get out a lot period, but my friend is black. They live out of state, but we talk on the phone a couple times a week.
Now, on one hand, its a sample size of 1. On the other hand, that's a solid 50% of my social circle.
That being said, "black culture" varies just as much as "white culture". You're trying to generalize a massive number of people, and you'd probably be surprised how hard that is. I don't think you could pin down any single cultural element as being ubiquitous among black Americans.
I grew up in a country where there was no black people at all when I was born. It wasn't till much later that black people could be seen about in larger cities as students or tourists, usually a bit of a tourist attraction themselves.
Whenever I went to the west my parents always asked if I saw any {hard r n-word}s about. I don't think they even knew it was offensive.
I try my best as a progressive to be anti-racist, but I have no clue about black people honestly or what problems if any they face in the UK apart from discrimination by the police and home office, as people they seem alien and strange, and in London all PoC in general I saw seemed to have no interest in interacting outside of strictly religious/ethnic/national lines and i don't mind that, though it did make uni cliques seem more like ethnostates.
I was close friends with 2 black kids from across the street all through my school years, and another black dude in my neighborhood for a while in my adult years until they all moved away. But, like... There wasn't much of a cultural difference from me; we were all "middle class" Californians.
I saw one of dudes from high school run into some racists yelling the N word at him once, but it was 2 skinny assholes vs like 7 of us and half of our group was on the football team so when we didn't just ignore them, they pissed themselves and ran away.
Posting my reply to someone else.
I was born in the US, in Mississippi, but moved to Boston, Massachusetts, as a young adult. I am mixed from white and pacific islander - I look mostly white, just with Asian features - but a significant portion of my friends were black as a child, and then I fell in with an international community of Haitian-, Nigerian-, and Latin-Americans when I moved to South Boston.
As with anywhere, most people are nice if you express interest in them and their cultures. There will be preconceived notions for some people towards you, and it's important to understand that most stigmas stem from an absence of interaction. It can be surprisingly easy to break those barriers if you just make any sort of effort. It can sometimes be hard, but it's so worth it. The kindest people I have met have been from these communities, mostly I think because they've worked so hard to build a better life for themselves and their families and friends.
Few things are as rewarding as being accepted into different communities. You learn and experience so much that you wouldn't otherwise. My favorite experiences have been meeting the families of friends, being invited to cookouts with traditional foods and drink you have never had, and having an incredibly reliable community to lean on in times of hardship - we all help each other because we're all in the rat race together. All it takes is some humility and a willingness to learn.
I've had a couple of conversations recently where people have confidently said things about the Black community that are ridiculously incorrect
Do tell.
Grew up in a community that was whiter than yours was black.
4th grade was exciting: we had a new, native American student in my class! Everyone else was white. There were two adopted kids in my neighborhood that were brownish, raised quite white (islander and South American). The only black people in the city played for the university football team.
Moved away from there, did most of my work in music. Many black, Hispanic & Asian coworkers, some friends.
I'm back in my birth city now. Black & Hispanic people are now established portions of the population of the city.been living with a black woman for many years
No, i don't live in america
What you describe is world wide problem.
We don't have much black people here (it is more curiosity than "the shit" you refer to) but there are some other groups like Roma people and recently Ukrainians, that gets to be the political punch bag.
And yes I know some people from these groups. I am pretty open minded and I see homelessness, excluded communities and stuff like that mostly as social or information problem.
I can pretty much count with one hand the times I've talked with a black person ever. Don't see them around much where I'm from.
I did go to school with one but he was a decent friend and we carried on in classes together. He came from Ghana, and I can't remember the specifics of his moving (it's been over 15 years) but he was originally born in Ghana. He was pretty smart, but I think he struggled a bit with "integrating" to the high school, as he'd let himself be the butt of jokes at times. He'd tell stories about growing up in Ghana and exaggerate or make up details that would carry on into ongoing phrases we'd repeat like inside jokes. Particularly, he said he would ride a bull to school, which turned into a sing-song phrase "ridin' bulls". He was a good time.
The state isn't exactly known for its spectacular past (we were a Union state though), and I think there was some fear with other students. He was in the International Baccalaureate program with me, so he was sorta insulated from the classic "dumb" racists, but you still have to traverse the hallways and life exists outside of school. Didn't keep up after graduation though.
My cousins are half black so my uncle is this HUGELY intimidating black dude lol and my best friend is half Nigerian
Not since freshman year in high school. My list of friends has only shrunk since then.
I had maybe one that would actually fit your specific terms (though he preferred <adjective> Black Billy with the adjective usually being big or sexy). One of my good friends living in Texas was black, but he'd call himself a Black American or Cuban American rather than African American. In Japan, my black friends were (I moved to the middle of nowhere recently and don't use social media, so friendships tend to fade) black men from Africa (mostly Tanzania).
I think African American is one of those terms that (a) is super American-centric and (b) isn't something everyone would call themselves. You can actually read into how "Native Americans" feel about that term (many don't like it, apparently, because America (the country being the US)) wasn't the place they came from; they came from the land that their ancestors settled, not some stolen version of it. Some actually prefer "Indian" while others favor something more like "aboriginal peoples" or "first nations".
Growing up one of my best friends was African American, but we lost contact after elementary school. Don't have a clue how to contact him or if he'd even want to get in touch, though.
My brother did see him at his job and he remembered my brother, so there's that. I wish him well, but I don't know if I can handle bringing back old friends into my life because of how awkward it would be for me, as someone who doesn't handle awkward well.
I'm not from the U.S.
My best friend in kindergarten until high school (although through high school, just got to see her less because we no longer lived near each other) was mixed. We had many sleep overs and birthday parties and going out to places! It's impossible to contact her now, but her Facebook still seems active and she's doing well.