Why do I lack the ability to trust white people who claim to be progressive or leftist?
When a person of color, especially if they're black like me, affirms their support for causes such as queer liberation, feminism, animal rights, or socialism, I immediately feel that I can believe, with minimal doubt, that they're truly convicted and principled in what they're advocating for.
However, when a white person claims to support leftism, until my skepticism is proven wrong, I immediately assume they're a dishonest and performative libshit. I then proceed to interact with them with hefty amounts of caution. If my assumptions are proven true, I'm never shocked.
I grew up in an area that was mostly black and hispanic.
I'm at the point where I hate other white people and I'm in a contradictory position of hating white people but also I definitely grew up white. I hate whiteness but not myself.
Like I don't expect to be trusted because I see it, I understand that reaction, I don't trust white people either but the alternative is being by yourself all the time which I don't think is good either and itself kind of white.
Thats a pretty uncharitable conclusion but I guess I wasn't specific enough in what I wrote. It's either I get better at writing, I stop posting at 7am in the morning (no) or accept someone is always going to pick up on something you didn't mean in a post like this.
I have friends who are all over the spectrum but sometimes its hard to make new friends. And sometimes friends phase out of your life through no ones fault, leaving you with less friends, maybe no friends. That being said I don't have many friends, maybe like six or seven people I actively fuck with and my partners not white and I don't count them in the friend total. I only see one of them right now regularly just because that's life, all my friends live far now.
There are a lot of non white people who arent interested in being your friend because youre white and I'm not even upset about it beyond the selfish "me want more friends" aspect.