I don't see what's so enticing about social media. I recently made an Instagram account but even then haven't touched it all (10 minutes maybe every other day). For me it's just a whole bunch of messaging to a friend
You could certainly make the argument that reddit / Lemmy and anything similar is social media, but the anonymity means you aren't seeing or competing with people you know.
Idk, maybe I'm just coping, but I've never felt the need to do anything performative for the masses of internet strangers - unlike some friends of mine who studiously document anything fun we do for the ever important task of impressing people on Instagram.
Whenever the negative effects of social media come up, it tends to be about people comparing their "boring" lives with the carefully crafted veneer of other people's lives they see on social media. That doesn't happen (as much) when you don't use your identity and you don't know anybody else on the platform.
I'm with you. Even YouTube is classified as social media (which I guess it gets closer to with shorts and comments and everything). I definitely think that, this, and Facebook are categorically different, even if they're all "social media"