Complain, complain complain. That's what you people do here all day every day. That's even what I'm doing right now. Jesus Christ no wonder we all feel like shit all the time. This is the most miserable and cynical circle jerk I've ever participated in.
Passion communities is where you'll find what you're looking for. I fully understand what you are talking about though. I participate in this way, lots of the time. However, communities where people are showing off their creations or talking about a shared interest (not of anything controversial) is more often where you'll find the calmer places you're looking for. The front page of Lemmy, much like reddit, is full of fear and arguments.
I mean.. I've blocked probably over a thousand users and communities in total and I have content filters for much of what I just listed there but the front page is still negative as hell. I can only imagine what the unfiltered version of that looks like.
I agree that the niche communities are much more pleasant but unfortunelately they're also extremely quiet. There's not enough going on in there to keep me entertained for much more than 10 minutes a day. I've recently started going back to reddit for that. There are niche subs there than are more active than Lemmy as a whole.