gonna open an AroAce theatre where I fast forward through all of the romantic subplots to get to the good stuff and instantly cancel (worse than death) anyone who complains
That sounds like an actual good idea that would be great for aromantic/asexual people.
Imagine trying to watch Mask of Zorro with all the sexiness cut out. Basically just a bunch of people shouting over explosions. No shirtless Anthony Hopkins whipping candles. No sweaty men pressed against each other's sword blades. Every single scene with Catherine Zeta Jones would have to include giant black censorship bars. What a waste.