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Is there some kind of "reverse ADHD"? I feel the complete opposite.
I mean.. not opposite, but in this specific case: Autism?
Yes. Structure (of my choosing and creation) is good. And executive dysfunction is always present (the structure helps combat it some but anything outside the routine is really hard to get to).
Exactly this!
I also get mad when someone interrupts my routine.
Yup, there's good reason I do the same things the same/similar way every day!
Edit to add: I literally run on my routine as oppose to running on what time it is NT's seem to, by which I mean, for example - I won't have breakfast/lunch/dinner depending on it being breakfast/lunch/dinner time, but rather on where I am in my routine, so I'll often have "breakfast" after noon, "lunch" in the evening, and "dinner" in the small hours of the morning, just because those are the times it happened to be when I reached those points in my routine, rather than the time of day dictating my actions.. Does that make sense?
Is that why I'm so fucked, having both Autism AND ADHD?
Yes
Autism
Imagine having both π₯²
I don't have to imagine unfortunately. But the need for structure vs the need for change balances out juuuust enough that it's like I'm almost normal.
Yeah I meant to communicate that I had the same issue. It's a "fun" combination
Why imagine when it's already my waking nightmare? ππ
Is that just an internal battle constantly
Yes. For me, more and more so for the last few years it just starts to turn into freezing. I get stuck. My mind is racing and thinking of all the things I "could" do and instead I just sit motionless and borderline unable to move by my own will trapt in thought.
Like scrolling through My List on streaming media instead of watching anything!
I've literally done that for like 40 minutes on Netflix, but my Steam game library is even worse.
My List is where good movies and shows go to be ignored so I can pick something random not on the list that I have zero expectations of being good to avoid being disappointed.