Even lemmy.word, at least for me, was difficult to join. I have a hard time to log into the account I have created there. I think we must understand this is not redit, the platform is fundamentally different how you approach it. The fuller the server gets, the more difficult it gets to get into your account.
I wonder if it'd be possible to setup a registration server of some sort instead of only picking instances manually? Ideally it'd know if one particular server was near capacity and could direct new user registrations to another.
I have no idea how this sort of platform functions, just spitballing.
I don't think it is necessary, as @navordar mentioned, just pick a smaller server, maybe have two or three accounts on different servers for now might work, unless you are willing to host an instance that will help grow the federated network.
Hosting your instance, might require some commitment, good admin skills and transparency.
I am inspired how the arch Linux community handles their admin for projects, I believe whoever hosts a instance that follow the same philosophy, that instance might stay active for a very long time.