I became conscious while walking through LAX airport holding my moms hand as we approached a strange smiling man with an afro and handle bar mustache (turns out it was my father)
First time I have proper memories was nursery so 3-4 I remember standing off by the side watching all the other kids wondering why they were able to have fun so easily.
Earliest earliest memory i don't know if they actually were earlier but some vague concept of falling down the stairs and my parents watching the old war of the worlds movie. I have a lot of memories of my first ever nightmares but not sure when those happened.
Oh oh one actually did pop into my memory i was 2 i think maybe older idk but was potty training and i decided to sniff my poo and then vomitted i was a genius. Sniffing my poo made me sentient
First time I have proper memories was nursery so 3-4 I remember standing off by the side watching all the other kids wondering why they were able to have fun so easily.
Relatable. This sounds like autism to me. My limited early memories (not the first) are this way too. Felt like an outsider my entire life, still do.
Yeah i got the tism found out in my late 20s but would have been useful to know earlier cos I spent my entire childhood feeling like an alien and beating myself up about it
I never got diagnosed, my best friend since I was 1 who worked with autistic people diagnosed me in my mid 20s and I was very offended. Then a whole bunch of life crisis stuff happened in my mid 30s and I looked into it for real this time, took a bunch of online tests out of curiosity and there it was, autistic. It explains so much of what’s “wrong” with me and why I can’t just be like everyone else.
I’m female so a lot of shit just gets swept under the rug especially growing up in the 90s where females can’t have neurodivergence it’s a disruptive rich white boy problem (in america).
Given the timeline america is on I don’t want an official diagnosis, it won’t give me anything but more trouble. And I’d have to pay handsomely for the pleasure of opening myself up to discrimination and worse.