Lemmy and kbin, find a community and stick with it or join a bunch. If you really don't want to use discord for a hangout then there's revolt and guilded for voip clients. You can also try mastodon and matrix, or really a combo of things.
I'm on discord but not for the sociability so much. However, there are some hyper specific subjects that get served up there. Personally, I find it very chaotic.
The one thing Discord has over IRC is logging. If someone could develop an IRCv# with constant channel logging and a history like Discord, I would be there immediately.
Back in the day my mirc client logged as long as I was online. Had logs for certain channels that went back 7 years at one point, but sadly lost those logs in a HDD meltdown.