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This has a Ryan George (Pitch Meeting) written all over it
News: here are STARTLING MORTALITY RATES that you definitely did NOT ask for while you wait for the weather that we definitely promise is coming! But first a word from our sponsor
User: you're right I really didn't ask for th---
Ad: "HI HELLO THERE I'm the pharma ad -- THIS COULD (possibly) KILL YOU!"
User: oh god why would I want that? --
Ad: So you won't be depressed ya silly goose!"
User: [Gestures to "News"] these people give you... Money?...-
News: Yeeah yeeah yeah yeah!
News: enjoy watching it every break until you actually feel depressed! *ARE YOU SAD YET??
User: when are you going to get to that segment that you keep teasing over and over which is very effectively keeping me in engaged on your platform?
News: heyshutup HERE'S THE SAME AD AGAIN!
Yeah, I automatically read the whole post in his voice. Exactly the same energy.
HELLO I'M AN ANGRY PUNDIT AND I'M GOING TO DISAGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY BECAUSE YOUR FARTS SMELL
HELLO I'M ALSO AN ANGRY PUNDIT AND WILL NOT LET YOU GET A SINGLE WORD IN BECAUSE I AM RIGHT AND YOU ARE A POOPY HEAD
news: absolute perfection!
Oh, my god!
Holy shit he did