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Routers often run on BSD
Wish they didn't. DIY opnsense/pfsense boxes are much harder for finding compatible NICs because they're on BSD. Conversely, used enterprise-level NICs often have better drivers on Linux than Windows.
usually if it doesn't have good working drivers on BSD, there's a good reason and it's probably better that you didn't use that hardware in the first place. if it was a well-established, reliable adapter then typically it would already have a driver.
How about an HP NC523SFP? Keep in mind, this is HP enterprise stuff, not consumer level. Dual SFP+, pulled from server hardware. Doesn't work on FreeBSD.
Google is telling me that's not true and that the qlxgb driver for it has existed for years
My attempt to actually use it on opnsense says it don't.
But you said FreeBSD... opnsense is not the same as FreeBSD proper even though it is based on it... for example they don't include all the drivers that FreeBSD has... like qlxgb. Not saying you're moving the goalposts but I feel like this may be an unfair conclusion being drawn.